GRIEVE IF YOU MUST

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." - From a headstone in Ireland

March 7,  2012, Wednesday at 9:43 am.

Libing ni Erick today.  Kinumusta ko si Cielo via text message.

Me: Good morning! Kumusta ka na? I pray that God will strengthen u through this trying times.

9:38 pm when she replied to my text.

Cielo: cno po ito? no. lng lumabas

Me: Kuya arnel to

Cielo: Hello po, nailibing n po cya.  miss n miss k po cya.  super lungkot po ako ngyn

Me: I know.  San ka na ngayon? Nakikiisa ako sa nararamdaman mo.  Kahit paano, I know how it feels

Cielo: S bahay ng parents ko.  pakipray p rin po ako. dumadaan po talaga me s difficult time ngyn.

Me: I do and I will.  Minsan, dalawin ka namin ni donna diyan sa inyo.

March 9, 2012, Friday at 2:34 pm. Habang ako ay nasa seminar.

Cielo: Miss n miss k c erick, grabe, ganto b talaga? gano katagal to? ang sakit, ang hirap!

Me: Talagang sa tipo ni erick nakakamissed talaga siya.  And I am sure not only u but  many people whose lives he touched missed him too ryt now.  I am sharing with ur pain and struggle.  Grieve if u must.  Cry even a river if that will comfort u.  Ur in my prayers.

Me(another): The grieving will always be there.  Its d acceptance that changes in time.

Cielo: Sensya n po s pang aabala i know u r busy but i'm really struggling right now. ang hirap pag naiwan. tapos gus2ng gus2 m cya makita, marinig ang boses, pero wala n

Me: No problem.  I am a family.  Remember Erick texted me that I will always be his kuya. Kaya hindi ka abala.

Cielo:Kc sabi nila there'll be days n miss n miss m cya, meron daw days n ok k lang d k iiyak, kaso ngyn, longing to see him & hold him, at mas marami p ung iyak, punta kami cavite city cyempre kita k ung mga lugar n pinupuntahan namin, lungkot me. lagi nga me sumasama s lakd ng parents k kaso iba talaga.

Me: Yap.  Noong ako nga ayaw kong umuwi ng bahay kasi feeling ko wala naman ako uuwian.  Para akong ibon na nabalian ng pakpak during that time.  Basta kung need mo malungkot, go.  Kung need mo iyak, go.  Hindi ko kasi masabi kung mawawala yung grieving.