WHAT CAN I GIVE YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

Panahon na naman ng kapaskuhan. Panahon na naman ng exchange gifts.  Last Tuesday (Dec. 17, 2013) ay Christmas Party nila Diko Amiel sa school.  He told me that he will shoulder the gift for his teacher.  I usually buy their teachers a gift during Christmas. But this year, nagkusa na siyang siya na ang bumili ng gift for his teacher.  Natuwa nama ako. Pero may twist pala yun. Dahil in return, I have to pay for his exchange gift.  Well, pumayag na rin ako kasi at least, nakalibre man lang ako sa iba.  He went to PCBS and bought not only for two persons but for four.  I asked him why he bought four. He said he will give it to two others. He asked me to wrap all the gifts which I gladly did.

Wednesday afternoon nang bumaba siya at sinabing ililibre niya raw ako ng pagkain sa labas. I am trying to diet these days.  Yes, diet on Christmas.  Sadista lang ang peg ko.  Hahahaha!  But dahil ililibre niya ako, kinalimutan ko na muna ang pagpapapayat.  I told him I want to eat in Jollibee.  Habang nasa daan kami, nasabi niya sa akin na gusto niyang i-donate ang pera niya.  I immediately told him na sa akin niya na lang i-donate.  Hahahahahaha!  Pero hindi niya ikinatuwa yun. Huhuhu! My next suggestion is sa church niya ibigay.  He refused again.

Among my kids, it is Diko Amiel who knows how to save.  Siya ay may pinakamaliit na allowance sa school pero siya ang may pinakamaraming naiipon.  Minsan nga, humihiram pa ako sa kanya.

Inside the Jollibee ay kainan kami at kuwentuhan.

Order namin

Me:  Kanino mo ibinigay yung dalawa mo pang regalo sa Christmas party niyo?
Amiel: Yung sa isa kong classmate na babae.  Hindi kasi sila magkasundo ng nanay niya.  Yung isa naman, sa isa kong kaklase na may problema rin.

Me: Sa Sunday ay My Birthday Gift to Jesus sa church.  Doon mo na lang ibigay ang gusto mong ibigay.
Amiel:  Gusto ko kasing bigyan e yung tao talaga na nangangailangan.

Kain uli kami.  Ang tagal kasi ng hamburger dumating.  Hahahahaha!

Me: Si Ayan na lang ang bigyan mo.  Nanghihingi sa akin ng tsinelas yun.
Amiel:  Ganon ba? Ok( Si Ayan yung member namin sa church na former drug addict na ulila na sa ina na may ibang pamilya na ang ama na  nag-iisa na lamang sa bahay na laging pumupunta sa aming bahay para makikain na gustong makitira sa amin na nanghihingi ngayon ng tsinelas).

Dumukot si Diko Amiel sa kanyang bulsa.

Pambili ng tsinelas

Nang hapon na yun.  Tuwang-tuwa ako kay Diko Amiel kasi nilibre niya ako.  Priceless kapag nililibre ng anak ang magulang.  Pero ang higit na priceless ay ang matutunan ng anak ko na magbigay sa iba.

Amiel:  Papa, masarap pala sa pakiramdam yung nakakapagbigay ka
Me: (Speechless)

Naalala ko tuloy yung usapan namin kahapon ng isang miyembro na namatayan ng tiyahin ng kanyang asawa.  Dahil daw sa may ipamamana yung namatay, nag-aaway-away na raw ang mga tagapagmana.  Naisip ko tuloy na minsan, masama pa yung may iiwan kang materyal sa mga anak mo pagyao mo.  At natutuwa naman ako na ma-realized na kung natutunan nga ni Diko Amiel sa akin ang pagiging mapagbigay sa nangangailangan, masaya na akong iyon ang ipamamana ko sa mga anak ko.

Tamang-tama naman ang kuwento kong ito sa journaling ko today.  Sabi kasi sa Psalm 41:1-2, "Blessed is the one who considers the poor!  In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies."

Isa pang naalala ko ay yung kantang, What Can I Give You This Christmas?  Nasagot na yun ni Diko.  Sana ganuon din ang sagot sa ating lahat:)

A SHELTER FOR MANY

It is my nature to be accommodating.  I would like to make people feel comfortable with me.  It gives me pressure to have guests because I would like to give more than I can just to entertain them.  And I feel disappointment if I feel that I am not able to do so.

Last Sunday, December 8, 2013 was our Family Sunday in the church.  As always, we had an invited speaker. And as the occasion calls for, he would be speaking about the family.

When his turn to speak came, he started with giving prophecy to families through the painting of his wife.  Yes, his wife paints and the painting has a prophetic meaning.  Prior to the giving of painting, the speaker asked about my family.  I told him some of my family members were not around.

They had to give three paintings.  The first went to our lay leader's family. The said family was asked how do they understand the painting.   I was expecting to be called and since only two of us in the family were present that Sunday made me feel uncomfortable.

But I was not called after our lay leader instead another family was given the painting. While the second family was listening to the prophetic meaning of the painting ready by the painter herself, the third painting was visible to me.  I love the painting but was not ready to receive it. I think everybody was expecting that our family will be called the first but was not called the next.  So, I was relieved and thought that no painting will be given to me.

But I was wrong.  I was called.  And I was happy to accept the painting that I instantly fell in love with.

The Painting I love

Just as the other two families were asked what do they think of the painting, I said mine.  I told the speaker and his wife that the color green that is predominant in the painting is my favorite.  It symbolized hope and life.  And every family needs hope for it faces different challenges.  The fruits of the trees symbolized the calling to every family, that is, to bear fruit not just biologically but spiritually and other forms of growth. I said to them that although I have many children, I keep on considering more children especially in youth of the church.

The Prophetic Meaning I Claim

Our deaconess (woman church worker) could not agree more and was in tears when she was hearing the prophecy to me.  She said to herself, "He is really the prophecy,"  She shared this when we were talking with each other after the service.

I was so grateful to the giver of the painting.  Not only the painting is beautiful, but also meaningful.  After all, I was not wrong to be helpful and accommodating to other people, to less fortunate people.  To others, I was too kind to a fault.  But the prophecy tells me otherwise.

They say that "A picture/painting speaks of a thousand words." I say that a prophecy fulfills itself even after a thousand years:)

ANG KUWENTO NA FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING

For five years ay hinihintay ko ang balitang ito.

For five years, panay ang tanong ko.

For five years, nag-aalala ako.

Last October, naka-five years na ako.  Yipee!

Last Saturday, nasabi sa akin ng nanay ko, "Tapos na ako sa paggagamot.  Sa isang taon na ang balik ko sa ospital."

Itsurang "ok" lang ang pagtanggap ko sa balita ng nanay ko.  Ganon din ka-casual ang pagtanggap ko nang five years ago ay sabihin ng nanay ko sa amin na, "may breast cancer ako!" Yes, my mother is a cancer survivor. Isang karanasang napakahirap sabihin lalo pa ang maranasan.

But deep inside I was so happy to hear her free of medicines and free of cancer cells.  Deep inside I was shouting and jumping for joy dahil sa kabutihan ng Panginoon.

Deep inside I was so worried and scared the first time she broke the news of her ailment.  I remember nagkita kami sa Philippine General Hospital for her check up.  Galing siya ng Tondo habang sa Cavite naman ako.  That was the day the doctor's diagnosis will be released.

Sa harap ng doctor, magkatapat kaming nakaupo ng nanay ko.  "Cancer ang sakit mo" pagtatapat ng duktor.  Agad akong nagtanong, "Anong stage po Doc?"  "Stage 2" ang kanyang sagot.

Lunchtime nang umalis kami sa clinic.  Humanap kami ng makakainan.  Walang gaanong imikan. Pinipilit na gawing normal na ang lahat ng bagay habang kani-kanina  lang ay para kaming nasa Hiroshima na sinabugan ng bomba.  Pumunta sa comfort room ang aking nanay. Siya ay medyo nagtagal.  Naisip ko na lang, baka doon saglit siyang umiyak at umimik.  Bumalik siya na walang bakas ng anuman sa kanyag mukha.  That afternoon, I knew and I proven how strong my mother as a person.That afternoon, we both tried to be brave for each other.  We both tried to fight against our fears.  My mother feared for her life.  I feared for a mother-less life.

It is self explanatory why my mother's case was that scary.  I think I am the one who have to explain my fear.  It is not just a fear of losing a mother.  It is also a fear of losing one's strength, of losing one's best friend.

Life with my mother is not perfect.  Life without her is worst.  Had my mother gone five years ago.  I do not know how could I assume the responsibilities which I am certain will be transferred on my shoulders.  Yes, responsibilities for my family and extended families is what my mother and I hand in hand shared.

I encouraged my mother to hold on and fight for her life.  I sent her daily encouragement.  I prayed for her. I told God, 'Lord, we just simply can't face this ordeal and shoulder the financial burden.  I just simply want my mother healed."

I guess, I have prayed the sincerest prayer that time that the Lord answered my prayers.  After my mother's operation and the biopsy, one afternoon, she was in the hospital to buy medicines, she called up to me crying, "Nel, sabi ng doctor, hindi na raw ako kailangang mag chemo.  Oral medicines na lang daw ako."  I was crying while I was listening to her. I was able to hold back my tears on the news of her sickness but on the news of her initial healing, I simply could not.  After all, THE TEARS OF JOY is the sweetest tears of all.

From then on, my mother's visit to the hospital started from

monthly

to every three months,

to every six months for five years and until now that she has passed the five year period to declare her CANCER FREE!

Having five more years of life is a blessing beyond compared.  Especially if within those years, there is a mother, a best friend and a source of strength:)

WAIT LANG

Kumusta na kayo mga readers? Nandiyan pa ba kayo? Dapat yata kayo ang magtanong sa akin kung nandito pa rin ako.  Hahahahahaha! It's been 1 1/2 month na rin kasi mula nang huling post ko.  Actually, may mga naisusulat naman ako pero puro drafts nga lang. Hahahahaha! Dahil sa matagal na rin akong nahinto, ang hirap na namang magsimula.

Bakit nga ba ako natagalan? Siyempre may mga dahilan.  Pinakamadaling sabihin ay dahil sa kaabalahan. I must say na masyado lang naging makulay ang buhay ko na sa sobrang kulay ay hindi ko alam kung paano ko isusulat.  Kung ang ating bansa ay dinaanan ng iba't ibang kalamidad, ganoon din sa personal  kong buhay.  Yung feeling ko tapos na pero may mga aftermaths pa pala. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, bakit ba kailangan ang post kong ito? Wala lang, just to set the mode and the tone siguro.  Gusto ko lang sigurong sabihin na eto na naman ako at hihingi ng konting panahon niyo para pakinggan ang pang-araw-araw na buhay ko.

Gusto ko nang bumalik uli sa aking pagsusulat.  Siya nga pala, andito ngayon si Ayan. Kumakain habang nagsusulat ako nitong post na ito.  Wala pa ring ipinagbago.  Nanghihingi pa rin ng saklolo.  Kaunti pa rin ang naitutulong ko.  Sa gitna ng kanyang pagkain, tinanong niya ako kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "talikdan"? Sagot ko, "kinalimutan" o "iniwanan".   Wala lang, may mga bagay lang na kailangan kong talikdan na at iwanan.  There is no use of holding on.  In the same manner, may mga bagay na kailangan namang balikan gaya ng pagsusulat ko at ang mga bumabasa nito.

I pray na bukas ay may sunod na post na ako.  Ika nga ng laging sagot sa akin ni Amen Learn, "Wait lang,":0

HULING ARAW NG SETYEMBRE

Tanghaling tapat ngunit humahagupit ang ulan
Nagbibigay alalahanin sa mga bagay na gagawin
Dahil katulad  ng madalas na nangyayari
Sa pagbuhos ng ulan, nababalam ang marami .

Ika-apat ng hapon nang kami ay makaalis
Tumila na ang ulan pero oras naman ng uwian
Siksikan, tulakan, alitan ang matutunghayan
Saan man sa mga pampublikong sasakyan.

Huling araw ngayon ng  Setyembre
Huling araw  rin sana ng pag-ulan
Huling araw  rin sana ng pagkabalam
Ng takbo ng buhay at ng mga sasakyan.

Nagpasalin-salin sa tatlong sasakyan
Kasama ako, tatlo kaming tinahak ang daan
Panahon na naman ng hatiran
Pagkikita'y  sa katapusan na naman ng buwan.

Kung puwede lang sana na wala na ang sunduan
Lalo naman sanang puwedeng wala na ang hatiran
Upang hindi na mag-aalala sakaling umulan man
At magpasalin-salin sa mga sasakyan.

Ngunit gaya ng ulan na biglang bumubuhos
Unos ng buhay minsan ay padalus-dalos
Mararamdaman na lamang na ikaw ay basa
At ang baha ay tumataas, rumaragasa.

Kung maaari lang sana ay huwag munang makita
Upang sakit ng damdamin huwag manariwa
Subalit anong magagawa kung may nagdudugtong
Mga batang ihahatid at susunduin sa istasyon.

Inalok ng kape at tinapay nang dumating.
Kahit ayaw galawin ay napilitan man din.
Mga mata ng ibang tao ay nakatingin.
Kahit paano ayaw na ikaw  ay pahiyain.

Sunud-sunod ang subo at panay-panay ang lagok
Sa tinapay at kape na ang lasa'y kagyat na nalimot
Dahil mas mapait pa sa kape at matabang pa sa tinapay
Ang sakit na idinulot ng ginawa mo sa aking buhay.

Matapos kumain, muling inalok ng panibago
Tama nang minsan, gaya ng minsan akong niloko.
Bagama't nag-aalangan ang loob ay nilakasan
Tumayo na at nagpaalam, handa nang lumisan,

Matapos magpaalam sa mga hinahatid at sinusundo
Lumakad na ako papalabas ng pinto
Inihatid na animo'y nandoon pa ang pagsuyo
O baka naman iwas lamang sa sasabihin ng tao.

Walang lingun-lingon ako ay lumakad
Matapos ang matipid na paalam at paiwas na tinginan
Pinilit ituwid ang lakad ng nanghihinang katawan
Habang nagmamadali na makarating sa sakayan,

Pag liko sa kanto ang luha ay pumatak
Tumila na ang ulan ngunit hindi ang pag-iyak
Huling araw na nga Setyembre, marahil ulan ay huli na rin.
Ngunit ang sakit ng damdamin ay nadarama pa rin.

Kung kailan matatapos ang pag-iyak ay di alam
Nanalangin na sana ay may mapagdiskitahan
Upang bigong damdamin sa lungkot ay  mapigilan
At sumikat na ang araw pagkatapos ng ulan.

MY HUSBAND'S LOVER'S LOVER

Last Sunday, aking inamin at ikinumpisal sa mga miyembro during my sermon na ako ay masugid na tagasubaybay ng mapangahas na teleserye sa GMA na My Husband's Lover(MHL).  Being a gay-themed series, I am not sure what would people's judgment on the soap opera and to the people who watch it.  I got negative reactions from some of my members on the said teleserye. One time when the youth in the church had an overnight activity over a member's house and the television happened to be tuned on MHL, one of our youth leaders remarked, "Bakit yan?"  One Sunday, during lunchtime, the mother of the said youth leader also expressed her dislike on MHL. Those reactions gave me a feeling of keeping my fondness of MHL to myself.

Why do I watch MHL?  More than its controversial theme, it is soap opera for everybody.  It makes the viewers realize that gayness has something to do with the things we also value like true love,  family, friendship, responsibility, forgiveness and others.

It is not an ordinary teleserye were missing baby or mother abound, villains who are more evil than Satan, dream sequence, kidnapping, resurrection of the dead and other plot that insult the intelligence of the viewers.

MHL is a groundbreaking program not just because of its subject but also on the treatment of the subject.  Sa teleseryeng ito naturuan ang mga tao na gay can be as normal as other people except that they prefer same sex for a lover. That they can be a successful professionals like Architect, Businessman and Chef at hindi lang isang screaming faggot na parlorista.

 The camera angle, thespic prowess of the all the casts, employment of objects as co-actors to highlight the emotions and drama of the teleserye  are all commendable.  This teleserye make you notice and appreciate the drinking glass, the lady bag, the cellphone, the elevator, the shoes and the condominium unit as part of the acting ensembles.

In this teleserye, every actor shift from being a protagonist and an antagonist from time to time.  There are no "Bella Flores" and "Eddie Garcia" type of villain here.

If there is plenty in MHL, it is the quotable quotes.  One can relate to one or two of those lessons.  One cannot avoid quoting them themselves.

In short, MHL is REALISTIC, BOLD AND UNPREDICTABLE soap opera.  It is about to end and yet, viewers are still guessing how it will be?  And based of the sudden and unexpected shift and turn that characterize this teleserye, it can be anybody's guess.  That makes it kaabang-abang talaga!

I must say that MHL indeed succeeds in setting the bar higher in doing soap opera in our country.  If other networks can produce another teleserye that will trend even beyond the world, only then they can top the record set by MHL.  Since Day 1, the Philippines and the rest of the world are talking about it.

So, why do I have to include MHL in my sermon?  It is because I talked about the "predictability in the church" that makes it boring and unattactive.

In the church, we sing the same song for the longest years.  We sit on the same pew Sunday after Sunday.  We attend the same activities year after year.  We hear messages that just repeat what the Bible has already said Sunday after Sunday.  We know when we will sit and stand in our mass or service.  We hear the same people dominate our Bible Studies and Sunday School.  It is always the same faces, places and results in the church.

The church does not set trends because it does not do anything new.  People are not excited to come to church because it will have no effect to their lives.  The church ended up as "passive listeners" than "active catalyst" of the society.

At para naman, may karamay ako sakaling ako ay i-persecute ng congregation dahil hindi ako nagiging modelo kung ano ang dapat panoorin, isinama ko na rin sa confession ko ang dalawang members na alam kong fan din ng MHL.  Hahahahahaha!

At mukhang hindi lang ako ang pastor na mapepersecute dahil I realized na among the pastors, marami rin pala ang mga MY HUSBAND'S LOVER'S LOVERS.  While I was attending a mentoring among church workers this afternoon, I overheard one saying, My Husband's Lover sa discussion namin whenever we talk about gay issue.  Nang tumunog ang Iphone ng lecturer namin, react agad ang mga pastors na ang tumatawag daw ay si Vincent o kaya si Lally.  We all know, that the main cast of MHL uses Iphone for a phone. Kaya identified na ang ring tone na yon sa MHL.  Hahahahaha!  Di ba obvious na affected ang buong bayan?  Natuwa naman ako dahil hindi naman pala ako nag-iisang nanonood. Hindi pala dapat confession ang ginawa ko last Sunday kundi PROMOTION.  Hahahahahaha!   I became more proud to be a My Husband's Lover's Lover.  Hahahahahaha!

I just hope that the popularity of this teleserye even among church workers would translate to the reaching the objective of the production people behind MHL.  That of being bold and unpredictable.

Some would like to extend MHL.  Some are suggesting how it will end.  Me, I don't care although I will miss MHL.  It is just enough for me to love a story that does not come everyday.

IF LOVING MY HUSBAND'S LOVER  IS A SIN, THEN I AM GUILTY!

ON INTUITION AND DREAMS

While the owner of the cellphone was fast asleep, suddenly a message came in.  I am not the type of person who pry on somebody's gadget.  But that very moment, I didn't know why I had this urge to read the message.  After reading the thread of the conversation, I was no longer sure if it was right for me to read a private's message, a very private one.  All I knew that night was, I could hardly slept.

But being a non-believer of what we call "intuition," I tried hard to brush off my "suspicion."  I tried to have faith in the person.  I retained my full trust.  After all, I am not a woman who heavily rely on intution.

We Filipinos called "intuition" as kutob.  It is a feeling that something is wrong somewhere.

Another mysterious thing that I am not a fan of is "dream."  Lalo na at may kasabihan tayo na kabaligtaran ng katotohanan ang panaginip. Late last year when I kept on dreaming about snakes and other animals biting and attacking me.  To dream such dream once can be  dismissed right away but having dream about it four times  can be alarming and  burdensome.  I prayed that Joseph the Dreamer would come back to life and help me interpret my dreams.

I search on the internet on the possible interpretation.  Some say that it has something to do with betrayal.  As to who will betray and how, I did not have any idea.  Good thing, the dreaming stopped. So was the burden.

But the reality came.  My intuition and dreams were right all along.  My suspicion was right.  I was indeed betrayed.  All I can utter one afternoon was, "Kaya pala, Kayo pala."  But it was too late.  If only I have followed my intuition and believed in my dreams.  I could have done something to prevent something.  I chose to trust.  We do make bad choices in life.  Next time, I will try harder to give intuition and dream a try.

I am not saying that I am now a fan of "intuition" and "dream".  It is just that I learned  that God can use the two "phenomena" to reveal something to us.  As what happened to me, in time, our intuition and dream might turn into a reality.

PAANO BA TATAMIS ANG BEER?

Attending a retreat, we were group by twos for a time of sharing.  We were asked to share about the people who hurt us the most in the past.  I admit, I was not ready to share because I have done telling about it many times in the past.  So I let my partner to start and share it all he can.

I listened to him talk about the people who hurt him.  The more I listen the more he talked until there was no time left for me to share.  But it was ok because that was  the best opportunity for him to share his feelings, his true feelings to someone whom he trust.

He said that he has nobody whom he can really pour out his innermost feelings.  Most of his friends are just there for random talks and superficial conversations.  He could not share it to his wife because he was afraid that he will be judged more than cared for.

We both felt that we need time to talk it over for a longer time in another place.  I was ok with that.  I like listening to people's story.

In the middle of our discussion, he suddenly asked me, "Umiinom ka ba ng beer?"  I was taken aback by his question.  But I recovered fast by saying, "I don't drink beer BUT I AM WILLING TO DRINK ONE if it is needed for him to be more open to me.

Like I said, drinking beer is not for me.  I hate its bitter taste.  Anything bitter, except "Ampalaya" I dislike.  I could not even stand bittersweet taste like other beverages available in the market.  I have a sweet, sour and salty tooth but not bitter tooth.  Hehehehehe!

If our talk happened back when I was still a conservative Christian, with pride I will say to him emphatically that I DON'T DRINK BEER AND I HATE PEOPLE DRINKING IT.  MORE SO, IF THOSE PEOPLE ARE CHRISTIANS.

But time changes. So do I. I no longer look at beer drinkers as evil.  There are more evil things than drinking beer, puffing a cigarette and other vices.  My saying no to drinking beer has something to do with health concerns.  Isa pa, hindi ko alam kung paano ako malasing.  Who knows? Baka kapag nalasing ako ay katulad ako ng mga tiyuhin ko at kakilala na kapag nalalasing ay nagiging:

• Sobrang "cheesy".  Lahat kini-kiss niyayakap at sinasabihan ng "i love you" kahit lalaki.  
• Sobrang "drama".  Iyak nang iyak at sabi nang sabi ng kanyang sama ng loob.
• Sobrang "war freak".  Ang tapang tapang kapag lasing, kahit sino inaaway.
• Sobrang "galante".  Namimigay ng pera pero kapag nahimasmasan ay binabawi ito.
• Sobrang "messy".  Nagsusuka, natutulog at umiihi kahit saan.
• Sobrang "lasing".  Naghuhubo't hubad habang natutulog.

O di ba? Iba-iba ang epekto ng alak sa tao. Iyan ang mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw kong matutong uminom ng beer.  Mabuti sana kung katulad ako ng tatay ko na itinutulog lang ang pagkalasing.  Eh paano kung isa sa mga nabanggit ko sa taas e mangyari kung malasing ako? Eh kung paano kung lahat ng yun ay gawin ko.  Hahahahahahaha!

Another thing that made me surprised by his question was he's having no issue with a pastor drinking beer.  Wala pa lang issue sa kanya kung nainom ng beer ang pastor niya.  Well, meron namang ganoong mga members na hindi itinuturing na nakakawala ng kabanalan ang pag-inom ng beer.

Last Sunday, nagkita na naman kami.  He reminded me again of the part two of our sharing.  Hindi niya pala ito nakakalimutan.  I told him I am just a text away.

I am looking forward to having that day; our drinking session.  The day I wouldn't mind drinking a beer.

Oo, mapait pa rin ang magiging  panlasa ko sa beer.  It will always be.

But what will make this beer "sweet" is because through it, I will able to listen to somebody who badly needs someone to talk to.  And it can only happen  OVER A BOTTLE OF BEER.:-)


Speaking of beer, let me share to you one of my favorite songs.  I love the song's concept more than anything else:-)



                      

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER ESPECIALLY IF IT COMES WITH LOTS OF CAKE

Last August 25, 2013, my church family and me had celebrated my 43rd birthday.  It is a belated celebration since my birthday is in on the 22nd.

We had a simple celebration after our evening worship service.  First, I am so grateful to God for giving me another year of life.  I turned 43 this year.  The week of my birthday was the time when Habagat and Typhoon Maring were devastating the whole of Luzon, submerging places in the cities and the provinces.  Our celebration was also a celebration of our lives; on how God spared our lives from the calamity.

My church family did not fail to remember my special day.  I am so thankful to those who greeted me in advance, on the day and even belated happy birthday.  They turned the celebration into a cake party because of these:

Thank you very much Desalisa Family!

Lots of thanks to Tadeo Family

A Round Cake from Valeroso Family.
Much, much thanks!

This comes from the combined efforts of the youth.
I especially thank the dedication on this cake!
Hahahahahahaha!

Aside from the cakes, there were also some generous hearts who showered the celebration with these:

This is Valdez Family's share.
Thank you very much!

From Valdez Family

I think this also comes from the Valdez's

The Regular giver of Shoimai.
Thank you so much Daisy Te Family

Betiong and Vergara Family's Buko Pandan.
Maraming salamat sa dessert!

Of course, the celebration would not be complete without these groups:

The Youth

Family Groups

Mixed Groups

And some like it trio:

And there is one who simply enjoys it solo:

There were people who were missed by my camera but were as important to this occasion.  I am deeply grateful to them also.  The camera of my heart caught you and never forgets you:-)

I also thank those people who were not in the celebration but made their presence thru their gifts.  Kilala niyo na po kung sinu-sino kayo.

Too bad, my parents, brothers and other kin were not able to come because my mother got sick that afternoon.  I also regret not having my two other children, Aiehn Deosjua and Aiah Dasha on my birthday celebration.  The weather was to blame:-(

Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable evening.  Looking forward to having another birthday celebration next year.

SORRY NGA PALA SA MAHABANG TITLE NG POST NA ITO. GUSTO KO LANG  KASING HUMABA PA ANG BUHAY KO:-0

THE REAL SCORE

I  was deeply hurt
I didn't see it coming
I even dismissed the signs of betrayal
Because I believe you more than myself.

I was raging in anger
I was shaking in pain
I demanded for an explanation
On why everything has gone wrong.

I was on top of my voice
My spirit hit rock bottom
But all I could hear on the other line
Were words of denial, blame and alibi.

I waited in vain
For you to run and comfort me
To hear you say you're sorry
That you didn't mean to hurt me.

I waited and waited in vain
You kept silent, afraid to speak wrong
Not knowing that it is your silence
That made it all the more wrong.

I asked for forgiveness
Should I be the one to blame
I was willing to make a new start
And set aside my bleeding heart.

I don't know you anymore.
Suddenly you became a stranger to me
In an instant truth departed from your mouth
I gave you my trust but I want it back.

I wanted you back
But you have gone too far
You just want us and ours as it is
The truth is, it no longer  me you miss.

I want you out from where you are
I realized I am the one not "in"
You already knew where you are going
And to whom you like a sharing.

I endured and held on
Everyday is like an inquisition
Sleepless nights, pointless days
Had filled my life from day to day.

I wished for your decision
But I realized It's been long
Since you had made a decision
It is me who had to decide after all.

I was beaten black and blue
Too weak to compete
Too poor to win
Too late the hero.

I surrendered the fight
It was a losing battle
I lose it before it even started
I was not prepared for the attack.

I wanted to touch your once more
And feel what was left anymore
But I was scared to find out
The sweet taste has gone.

I was almost tempted
To kneel and beg in tears
For you to choose us and ours
But begging  is not your game.

I bade goodbye
Before I lost my sanity
Before I lost any sympathy
Before sickness accompany me.

I really bade goodbye
With a last stroke of hope
That you will change your mind
But all I had was a deafening silence.

I am moving on
There is no way to go but forward
I am leaving everything behind
I am taking another shot at life.

I am trying to forgive
I am trying to forget
O God please help me
Forgive and forget.

MINI-STRY FROM MINI-STOP?

One Sunday, isang member ko ang absent sa worship service.  Damang-dama ko agad ang kanyang pagkawala dahil dito:

This member regularly gives me these two items every Sunday.  At first, she only gives me a bottle of mineral water.  I don't know how she has known of one of my favorite brands.  The water was coupled by mentos candies later on.

This is our exchange of text messages that Sunday when she was not around:

Indeed, my Sunday will not be the same without this member because she has learned what I needed most when I preach the gospel. A bottled water that will keep me hydrated and a roll of mentos candies that will keep my breath fresh:-)  To her, it is just a MINI-STRY but to me it is all I needed when I preach the gospel and when I talk to members and guests.

Again, MINI-STRY need not be big to be significant.  Some can just  be found inside 7-11 or  MINI-STOP.

CELLPHONE CONNECTION

Ano ba ang meron sa cellphone?

Ano ba ang meron sa marriage?

Ano ba ang meron sa cellphone at na malamang wala sa marriage?

MAS MADALING I-FIX ANG CELLPHONE KAYSA MARRIAGE!

AT PARAMI NANG PARAMI ANG NASISIRANG MARRIAGES DAHIL SA MALING PAGGAMIT NG CELLPHONE!

INA NG LAGING SAKLOLO

Sakay ako ng multicab, pangalawa sa nanay na nasa dulo.  Katapat niya ang kanyang anak na hindi ko matiyak kung binata ba o binatilyo.  Ang tiyak ko lang e, beybing baby ang turing sa kanya ng kanyang mommy.

Mommy: Umaayos ka ng upo.  Nakatagilid ka kasi kaya hindi ka makakilos nang maayos.

Ayos naman siyempre ang baby.

Mommy: Nagsisipilyo ka ba?
Baby: Opo.

Mommy:  Eh bakit hindi ko nakikitang nagsisipilyo ka?

Si Mommy naman, magkasama ba sila buong araw at gusto niya na sa harap niya nagsisipilyo ang kanyang baby.  Hahahaha!

Mommy:  Kelan pa?  Noong isang araw?  Noong isang Linggo? Patingin nga ng ngipin mo?

Ipinakita naman ng binatilyo ang kanyang ngipin. Umiwas naman ako ng tingin.  Imbestigador si Mommy, kailangan pa may ebidensiya.

Mommy: Tignan mo nga, ang kapal na ng tartar mo sa ngipin mo!  Magsisipilyo ka kasi lagi!

Hindi ko alam kung ang feeling ni Mommy e sila lang dalawa sa loob ng multicab o kaya ay nasa bahay lang silang nag-uusap.

Gusto kong sabihin kay Mommy na ok lang ang titulo niya na "Ina ng Laging Saklolo," Ok lang na maging concern siya sa kanyang anak.  Ok lang na i-guide niya ang kanyang anak.  Pero minsan, kailangan niya ring maging "Ina Ng Awa."  Kailangan rin niyang isipin ang kahihiyan ng kanyang anak.

Matapos niyang pagdiskitahan ang ngipin ng kanyag anak, yung paraan naman ng paghawak sa payong ang napagdiskitahan ni inay.  Hahahahaha at HahahahaHAY!

Hindi kaya kasakay ko e kamag-anak ni ANABELLE RAMA?  Monster Mom ang peg?  Hahahahaha!

Mabuti na lang at maikli lang ang biyahe at  nauna na silang bumaba.  Kung hindi, gusto ko nang kantahin ito:

PREACHER NA SI MOTHER

It was Sunday afternoon when my mother called up:

Nanay: Hindi na ako makakapunta diyan.  Malakas ang ulan baha na dito sa amin.  

Me: Opo.

Nanay: Nag-text ako sa iyo, nataggap mo ba?

Me: Nasa mga bata ang phone ko kaya hindi ko pa po nabasa.

Nanay:  Ako ang nagsermon kanina sa church?

Me: Talaga po?(Surprised ako).

Nanay: Sinabihan kasi ako ni Pastor noong Biyernes.  Magsasalita kasi siya sa Malacanang kaya wala siya kanina.  Sabi ko nga sa kanya na bakit noong Biyernes lang ako sinabihan at baka hindi ko kaya.

Me:  Kaya Biyernes na kayo sinabihan e kasi nga Viernes ang apelyido niya.

Nanay and Me shared a laughter.

Me: Eh, kumusta naman ang preaching niyo?

Mother: Ok naman.  Sabi nga ni Mrs. Silac(member ng church), kay Pastor daw e hindi siya napapaiyak kapag nagsesermon pero sa akin, naiyak siya.

Me: Dulot na nga talaga ang pagsasabi sa inyo ni Pastor.  Pero dahil naitawid niyo naman na at leader niyo naman siya na nagsasabi sa inyo, ok na yun.

Mother:  Nilapitan niya yung isang member bago ako kaya lang tumanggi.  Kailangan daw two weeks ang preparation niya.

Me: Tungkol ba saan ang preaching niyo?

Mother: Tungkol sa pananampalataya.

I wonder what made my mother's preaching moving to that member.  Hindi kaya buhay ko ang basis ng sermon ng nanay ko? Hahahahahaha!

Dahil malapit na magsimula ang evening worship namin, nagpaalam na ako sa nanay ko.  I felt proud of her.  For the first time nagawa niyang magsermon.  And I think she did it well.  Marami kasi siyang pagkukunan at paghuhugutan kung karanasan din naman ang pag-uusapan.  Bread winner siya ng kanyang pamilya mula pa noong bata.  Naging OFW sa Middle East.  Cancer Survivor etc.

Pangalawa, mana rin ako sa nanay ko, hindi rin makatanggi sa pakiusap ng tao, lalo na ng pastor o ng isang leader.

Pangatlo, mana ang nanay ko sa akin.  Dahil preacher na rin siya katulad ko.

Ayon sa nanay ko, matapos siyang magsermon ay binati siya ng isang miyembro, "Sa inyo pala nagmana si Pastor Arnel ng pagsesermon."  Agad namang sagot ng nanay ko, "Hindi! Ako ang nagmana sa anak ko." 

Sayang!  I missed the opportunity to hear her.  But next time I will.

HER FAVORITE

Siyempre natuwa naman ang lolo niya sa message na ito.  Tahimik kasing bata itong si AJ.  Hindi ko alam na pinakikinggan niya pala ako.  Hahahahaha!

Siguro, iniisip niyo kung ano ang isinagot ko no?  Eto ang sagot ko thru FB:

• Conversation started June 27, 2011
• 10:1
• Wednesday
• 

  10:05am
  

  Arnel Dela Rosa Vasquez
  

  
  

  i think my strength as a speaker are:

  1. sincerity. i see to it that my message comes from my heart. 2. creativity. i try to present my message in a way different from the usual 3. audience focused. i try to acknowledge the needs of the audience and respect their time and effort to listen 4. practical. i make it appoint that people can relate to what I am saying. 5. factual. Since I am a preacher more than a speaker. I see to it that my message is biblically sound
• 

  10:20am
  

  Arnel Dela Rosa Vasquez
  

  
  

  my weaknesses as a speaker are:

  1. weak finish/conclusion. it is the part of my message that I care the least. 2. lack illustration 3. has the tendency to overly use myself as my illustration 4.

  hindi ko makumpleto ang weaknesses. Hahahaha! ikaw na bahalang magdagdag. Hindi ko pa kasi maisip sa ngayon. I hope maging maganda ang assignment mo.
• 

  12:49pm
  

  Audrey Tadeo
  

  
  

  Hahaha onaman po. Ikaw speaker e :))) hahah cge po. Thank you po ulit Pastor!

SHORTS STORY

Saturday nang umaga, late na ako nagising.  May kailangan akong puntahang training.  Wala akong maisuot na pantalon.  Ano ang gagawin ko?  Hindi naman puwedeng hindi ako umattend.  I decided to go kahit walang maisuot na pantalon.  Puwede na siguro ito:

Add caption

Pagdating ko sa venue, nag-ipon pa sa labas  ang mga unang dumating.  Siyempre, habang ang ilang pastor ay nakabarong with matching cross necklace, ako naman ay parang bumibili lang ng suka sa tindahan.  Hahahahaha!  Sorry, hindi ko intensiyong mang-agaw ng eksena.  Sisihin natin ang aking lola na hindi nagpakita sa bahay para maglaba.

Nagtanong pa nga yung isa kung baha sa aking pinaggalingan.  Hahahahaha!

Habang naghihintay na magsimula ang training, yung mga higit na bata kaysa sa akin na mga pastor pero nakadamit ng matanda e nakakuwentuhan ko.  Random talks kumbaga.  In between the talks ay humihimig ako ng kantang "Separate Lives" ni Phil Collins.  Kaya halata ng katabi ko na mahilig talaga ako sa videoke.  Actually may hang-over pa ako ng pagvideoke nang Friday night.  Bitin kasi. Hahahaha!  Itinanong niya kung ano title ng kanta.  Sana raw makapag videoke rin siya.  Ang sabi ko naman surrounded ang venue namin ng mga videoke kaya hindi mahirap kung gugustuhin niya. Hahahaha!  Maya-maya binanggit niya ang kantang "Gentlemen" ng Korean na si Psy.  Alam ko raw ba?  Ang sabi ko sa kanya, "gusto mo sayawin ko pa."  And I almost danced it.   Hahahahaha!

Minsan nakakatuwa at nakakaawa ang kawalang kaalaman ng mga pastor sa nangyayari sa kanilang paligid.  Nakakaawa na yata na ang mga batang pastor ay hindi gaanong alam ang uso.  

Ewan ko kung bakit ang kulit ko that morning.  Dahil ba bitin ako sa videoke kagabi o dahil ang damit ko ang bitin?  Hahahahaha!

The training was supposed to start at 8 am pero dahil naghintayan pa, late na kaming nagsimula kaya nag-extend kami nang mahigit sa isang oras.  Panay tuloy ang tingin ko sa wall clock sa harapan at  himas sa aking legs.  Kailangang flawless ang legs kahit umiikli na ang pasensya ko.  Hahahahahaha!

Pero maya-maya hindi ko na talaga kinaya ang mga nagaganap, ok na nga sana ang napahabang lecture kaya lang ang masama, sa ibang dako na napunta ang usapan.

Kaya hindi ko na napigil ang sarili ko,  sinabi ko nang malakas sa speaker at sa kapwa ko dumalo, TAPUSIN NA NATIN  ANG TRAINING AT MAGLALABA PA AKO.  Hahahahahaha!

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND

Habang inaalam ko kung ano talaga ang aking pangarap o patuloy itong tinutupad, tutulong muna ako sa pagtupad ng pangarap ng iba.  The conversation below tells how much happy I am to help somebody fulfills his or her dream.

Back in college, when we stage a play, I encouraged one of our classmates to do the daring role of a GRO in Japan.  It was so challenging for me as the director and for her as an actress because, beauty wise, she will not pass on the role. She was small, dark skinned with kinky hair.  An appearance that not many would consider beautiful.  Good thing, she is blessed with a believing heart.  She essayed the role and played it convincingly.  She was a revelation.  The play was a critical success.  But to me the real success was enabling a person to achieve something that he or she dare not.

Six years ago, I met a church member who I thought is a professional. I never thought that this person was not even an elementary graduate.  He was raised into a dysfunctional family that affected his schooling.  His determination brought him to a job that is for, at least, a high school graduate.  The moment I learned his lack of education, I encouraged him to take the Alternative Learning System.  I accompanied him to a nearby high school and the rest is history.  He was able to pass elementary and high school tests. He was so happy proud of his achievement that he is no longer ashamed to visit his hometown in Cotobato with pride.

To paraphrase one of my favorite authors, Zig Ziglar remark, "one can achieve one's dream by helping another person's dream achieve his."

Like I said, I am still seeking what my real dream is or perhaps, my dream after all, is helping a person fulfill his or her dream.  IF SO, I MUST SAY THAT I HAVE ACHIEVED MY DREAM. 

A LOVE STORY INSIDE THE JEEPNEY

Isang gabi, sakay ng isang jeepney habang papauwi, nagkakilala kami.  Ang lakas-lakas ng dating niya kaya sa ilang sandali ng aming pagkakakilala ay nahulog na ang loob ko sa kanya.

Sayang! Pababa na ako. Hindi ko na siya makakasama.  Ayaw ko mang bumaba pero kailangan. Mabigat ang loob ko na bumaba at humakbang papalayo.  Pero nang lingunin ko siya, nagulat ako, kasunod ko pala siyang bumaba.  Tumigil ako.  Hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko.  Ayaw niya  akong bitawan. Ang higpit ng kapit niya sa akin.  

Isinama ko na siya sa amin.  Pag dating namin sa bahay, muli at muli ko siyang pinakinggan.  At habang siya ay aking pinakikinggan  lalo ko siyang nauunawaan, lalo ko siyang pinaniniwalaan.

Walang kapantay ang kanyang mga pangako.  Naipapantay ko siya sa mga pangako ng Diyos sa akin. Sa pag-ibig ng Diyos sa akin.

Mula noon, sa panahong wala akong magawa kundi umiyak.  Sa panahong wala akong makapitan at ramdam ko na hindi ako maunawaan, nandoon siya lagi sa aking tabi at ako ay pinatatahan.

At sa tuwing nandiyan siya, nabibigyan niya ako ng kaaliwan kahit na nga ba  siya ay

















 ISANG KANTA LANG.

ANG PEG KO

Marami nang nag-alok sa akin ng kung anu-anong produkto ng mga agent sa mall dahil akala nila ay may credit card ako at lumalapit sa akin para makiusap na kung puwede raw ang maki-ride sila sa aking credit card.  Wala namang masama sa kanilang mga alok at paghingi ng tulong.  Ang totoo, HINDI AKO MAAPPROVE-APPROVED SA APPLICATION KO NG CREDIT CARD!:-0

Marami rin ang gustong makisakay at makisabay sa akin pagdating ng uwian.  Wala rin namang masama sa kanilang pakiusap.  Ang totoo, NAKIKISAKAY  RIN LANG AKO!:-0

Marami rin ang nag-aakala na ako ay binata pa.  ANG TOTOO AKO AY NAKADALAWANG ASAWA  at NAKALIMANG ANAK NA AKO!:-0

May mga nag-aakala na mayroon akong matatalinong anak.  Nang pumunta ako minsan sa school ng anak kong panganay, sabihan ba naman ako ng "congratulations" ng sekyu.  Akala niya yata ako ang parent ng Valedictorian.  Ang totoo, MABABAIT ANG MGA ANAK KO.:-0

Marami ang nag-aakala na bukod sa aking napangasawa ay marami akong naging girlfriends.  Ang totoo, MAY PAGKATORPE AKO at TATLO LANG PO ANG NAGING GIRLFRIENDS KO.:-0

Maraming ang nagsasabi na maganda raw ang aking asawa kahit hindi pa nila ito nakikita.  Ang totoo, TOTOO ANG KANILANG AKALA.:-0

Kung susumahin, akala ng marami, ako ay isang mayaman na may magandang asawa at matatalinong anak.  Pero marami doon ay PEG lang (mukha lang) sa ngayon.

Pero hindi ko ikinalulungkot na PEG lang ang marami dito.  At least sa mata ng maraming tao, I deserved to be rich with beautiful family and have all the best things in life.  

Kung dumating ang panahon na ang PEG ay maging FACT, at least bagay na bagay na sa akin.

Mahirap naman na, taglay mo nga ang lahat ng bagay, pero mukha ka pa ring mahirap.  Hahahahahaha!

THE LONG LOST SONG

One afternoon, ten years ago, I heard a song over the radio.  It was not a familiar love song but the first time I heard it, I immediately fell in love with it.  Ika nga, "Love at first sound."  Hehehehe!

But I missed the title of the song.  And since then, I started haunting the song or should I say, the song  haunted me?

I tried guessing the title of the song but I kept on failing.  Nobody could tell  about it from all the people I asked.  I even sang the few lines that I remember just to help the people I am asking if they know the song but to no avail.  I tried to catch in youtube but I failed.  I tried consulting google but it did not help.

The saddest part is, I never heard of the song again.  My hope in finding the so elusive song diminished but my love for the song did not.

My hope came into fulfillment last year.  after ten years, somebody was able to tell me the title of the song.  At last I found the song or should I say, the song found me.  I was so happy to finally find it and so amazed that the title best describes what I did to the song for ten years, FINDING IT.  Mas lalo kong na-appreciate ang song dahil it exactly tells my longing to find it.  Hehehehe

I listened to it again and again.  The melody is so simple but the lyrics is so romantic and poetic, just like love, just like lovers.

I am making a post of this song because it is one of my favorite, if not my favorite song.  Now, please do listen to the song and tell me if it is worth finding:-) I bet you will fall in love again upon hearing this song!

FRIENEMIES!(Blocked, Blocked and Away!)

I have realized that Facebook is indeed for friendship.  It is to establish friendship and to stabilize existing ones.  To others, Facebook has become also a platform to gain "frienemies"(friends turning to enemies). That is, making friends expressed their rant against each other through their shout outs until their friendship totally ruined. Parinigan kung parinig.  I am learning to avoid using my Facebook account other than to build friendship.

I am not choosy with whom to accept friend's request on Facebook.  Who knows? I might get a genuine friend from it.  And I did.  I am planning to post about that topic next time.  

Going back to shout out, my wife told me that somebody posted a shout out implying his disappointment to my reappointment in the church.  I missed the said "shout out" that my wife was talking about.  To verify what my wife was saying, I looked at the account of this person and viola, there,were his two shout out implying about my reappointment sa church.  Obviously, he was not happy with the news.  

Well, I respect his opinion.  I cannot please everybody especially him and the other who share with his sentiments.  I am sorry that my best was not good enough for him and for them. But as far as the "official recommendation" of the church, it is for my retention.  But there are people who could not accept that there are people who love me for who I am so they cannot do anything about it, except, POSTING A SHOUT OUT in Facebook.

His first shout out says that magtitiis na naman daw sila.  That means, while I am staying in the church, they are to endure.

The next shout out is, mabuti pa raw sa Facebook visible.  He is implying that I am not visible in the church.

Upon seeing these shout outs, the fighter in me would like to post a counter shout out.  And had I let my feelings prevail, I will post these:

"NAGTITIIS KA PALA, E BAKIT HINDI KA UMALIS? BAKA NGA MAS MARAMI ANG MATUWA KAPAG UMALIS KA DAHIL AKO MAN AY NAGTITIIS DIN SA YO!"  

Oo, alam ko, ALL CAPS AND BOLD letters ang ginamit ko.  Hahahahahahaha!  

Sa second shout out niya naman, this is what I can say.  Siya ang madalas wala sa mga activities ng church.  And I am happy for his absence kasi binabastos niya naman ako nang hindi pagpansin sa akin.  Tapos nagrereklamo siya kapag hindi niya ako nakikita.  Hahahahahahaha! Siguro dahil wala siyang nababastos.

Pero mabuti na lang ay napigilan ko ang sarili ko.  Pero ang asawa ko ay hindi.  Nagparinig din pala siya sa Facebook in my defense.  Thank you and i love you Mahal!

Mabuti na lang nagtimpi ako kahit nga nasasaktan din ako.  Do people really think that they have the right to say whatever they think and feel even if it will hurt somebody? And do church members think that they can criticize their pastor and ignore the value of their position.  Man, you are barking at somebody whom you call "your" pastor.  That is, if you really know the meaning of the word, pastor.  Yes, pastors as people are not perfect but pastor as an office deserves a great degree of respect!

When our former bishop was allegedly involved in wrongdoing, I kept my mouth shut.  I did not join the trend of making him the center of gossip, malicious jokes and condemnation.  While other churches are divided on the issue, my church was clueless to what is happening.  I made it a non-issue not because I am tolerant of our bishop but because I do not know who is really telling the truth.  And most of all, I respect the office of the bishop.

Going back to the shout out issue, naisip ko  na I cannot stoop down to his level.  Ayaw kong maging NEGASTAR Sharon Cuneta na pumapatol sa mga taong hindi naman kapatul-patol.  Hahahahahahaha!

Hindi ako sumagot sa first shout out niya.  Ganon din sa pangalawa.  Pero may ginawa naman ako para hindi na ako masaktan at ma-tempt pa na sagutin siya.  Nope, hindi ko siya in-unfriend.  I BLOCKED HIM!  Hahahahahaha!  That means, neither I nor him can see each other on Facebook.  I also delete him to my Yahoo Messenger.  Why?  Again, I don't want to make "patol".  Kung siya, hindi niya naiisip ang mga implications ng mga shout outs niya, he can shout his lungs out!  Pero ako, BLOCKED, BLOCKED AND AWAY ang peg! Hahahahahaha!

Ngayon, pati sa Facebook hindi niya na talaga ako makikita.  Ika nga ng GMA, think before you click para hindi tayo ma-BLOCKED, BLOCKED AND AWAY.  Hahahahahahaha!