THE REAL SCORE

I  was deeply hurt
I didn't see it coming
I even dismissed the signs of betrayal
Because I believe you more than myself.

I was raging in anger
I was shaking in pain
I demanded for an explanation
On why everything has gone wrong.

I was on top of my voice
My spirit hit rock bottom
But all I could hear on the other line
Were words of denial, blame and alibi.

I waited in vain
For you to run and comfort me
To hear you say you're sorry
That you didn't mean to hurt me.

I waited and waited in vain
You kept silent, afraid to speak wrong
Not knowing that it is your silence
That made it all the more wrong.

I asked for forgiveness
Should I be the one to blame
I was willing to make a new start
And set aside my bleeding heart.

I don't know you anymore.
Suddenly you became a stranger to me
In an instant truth departed from your mouth
I gave you my trust but I want it back.

I wanted you back
But you have gone too far
You just want us and ours as it is
The truth is, it no longer  me you miss.

I want you out from where you are
I realized I am the one not "in"
You already knew where you are going
And to whom you like a sharing.

I endured and held on
Everyday is like an inquisition
Sleepless nights, pointless days
Had filled my life from day to day.

I wished for your decision
But I realized It's been long
Since you had made a decision
It is me who had to decide after all.

I was beaten black and blue
Too weak to compete
Too poor to win
Too late the hero.

I surrendered the fight
It was a losing battle
I lose it before it even started
I was not prepared for the attack.

I wanted to touch your once more
And feel what was left anymore
But I was scared to find out
The sweet taste has gone.

I was almost tempted
To kneel and beg in tears
For you to choose us and ours
But begging  is not your game.

I bade goodbye
Before I lost my sanity
Before I lost any sympathy
Before sickness accompany me.

I really bade goodbye
With a last stroke of hope
That you will change your mind
But all I had was a deafening silence.

I am moving on
There is no way to go but forward
I am leaving everything behind
I am taking another shot at life.

I am trying to forgive
I am trying to forget
O God please help me
Forgive and forget.