ANG KUWENTO NA FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING

For five years ay hinihintay ko ang balitang ito.

For five years, panay ang tanong ko.

For five years, nag-aalala ako.

Last October, naka-five years na ako.  Yipee!

Last Saturday, nasabi sa akin ng nanay ko, "Tapos na ako sa paggagamot.  Sa isang taon na ang balik ko sa ospital."

Itsurang "ok" lang ang pagtanggap ko sa balita ng nanay ko.  Ganon din ka-casual ang pagtanggap ko nang five years ago ay sabihin ng nanay ko sa amin na, "may breast cancer ako!" Yes, my mother is a cancer survivor. Isang karanasang napakahirap sabihin lalo pa ang maranasan.

But deep inside I was so happy to hear her free of medicines and free of cancer cells.  Deep inside I was shouting and jumping for joy dahil sa kabutihan ng Panginoon.

Deep inside I was so worried and scared the first time she broke the news of her ailment.  I remember nagkita kami sa Philippine General Hospital for her check up.  Galing siya ng Tondo habang sa Cavite naman ako.  That was the day the doctor's diagnosis will be released.

Sa harap ng doctor, magkatapat kaming nakaupo ng nanay ko.  "Cancer ang sakit mo" pagtatapat ng duktor.  Agad akong nagtanong, "Anong stage po Doc?"  "Stage 2" ang kanyang sagot.

Lunchtime nang umalis kami sa clinic.  Humanap kami ng makakainan.  Walang gaanong imikan. Pinipilit na gawing normal na ang lahat ng bagay habang kani-kanina  lang ay para kaming nasa Hiroshima na sinabugan ng bomba.  Pumunta sa comfort room ang aking nanay. Siya ay medyo nagtagal.  Naisip ko na lang, baka doon saglit siyang umiyak at umimik.  Bumalik siya na walang bakas ng anuman sa kanyag mukha.  That afternoon, I knew and I proven how strong my mother as a person.That afternoon, we both tried to be brave for each other.  We both tried to fight against our fears.  My mother feared for her life.  I feared for a mother-less life.

It is self explanatory why my mother's case was that scary.  I think I am the one who have to explain my fear.  It is not just a fear of losing a mother.  It is also a fear of losing one's strength, of losing one's best friend.

Life with my mother is not perfect.  Life without her is worst.  Had my mother gone five years ago.  I do not know how could I assume the responsibilities which I am certain will be transferred on my shoulders.  Yes, responsibilities for my family and extended families is what my mother and I hand in hand shared.

I encouraged my mother to hold on and fight for her life.  I sent her daily encouragement.  I prayed for her. I told God, 'Lord, we just simply can't face this ordeal and shoulder the financial burden.  I just simply want my mother healed."

I guess, I have prayed the sincerest prayer that time that the Lord answered my prayers.  After my mother's operation and the biopsy, one afternoon, she was in the hospital to buy medicines, she called up to me crying, "Nel, sabi ng doctor, hindi na raw ako kailangang mag chemo.  Oral medicines na lang daw ako."  I was crying while I was listening to her. I was able to hold back my tears on the news of her sickness but on the news of her initial healing, I simply could not.  After all, THE TEARS OF JOY is the sweetest tears of all.

From then on, my mother's visit to the hospital started from

monthly

to every three months,

to every six months for five years and until now that she has passed the five year period to declare her CANCER FREE!

Having five more years of life is a blessing beyond compared.  Especially if within those years, there is a mother, a best friend and a source of strength:)