KUNG NAGBUDGET KA AT KULANG

      This is the extension of my post about my children having meal allowance.  Balak ko sana na isang post na lang pero mabuti na lang at hinati ko dahil mahaba pala kung pag-iisahin pa.  Isa pa, I am hesitant at first dahil alam mo naman ang tao  ay ibat ibang interpretation sa nababasa. Pero itinuloy ko narin at narealized ko na habang sinusulat ko ang post na ito na sa pagkakatanda ko this is my first major post on the subject of money.  Eh, may kwarta pa naman sa title ng blog na ito tapos walang mabasa tungkol dito. Hahaha!  Kaya eto na ang monthly budget ko.

I.  BILLS AND ALLOWANCES

Tithes                                            Php 3,000                                                          Php    3,000
Kids' meal allowance                         3,000 x 5                                                             15,000
My meal allowance                            3,000                                                                      3,000
Lola Rosie's allowance                       1,000                                                                      1,000
Cellphone load                                        515                                                                        515
Sky Cable                                                  500                                                                        500
Smart Post Paid                                       500                                                                         500


Total Amount                                                                                                          Php  23, 515

II.  GROCERIES

Transportation                             Php  2, 500                                                         Php    2, 500
Monthly dues                                              100                                                                       100
Haircut                                                          50 x 4                                                                  200
Water                                                            400                                                                       400
Gas                                                                 300                                                                       300
Shampoo                                                      400                                                                        400
Bath soap                                                      200                                                                       200
Laundry soap                                               200                                                                       200
Fabric Conditioner                                      200                                                                       200
Toothpaste                                                    100                                                                       100

Total Amount                                                                                                            Php      4, 700

Over all Total Monthly Expenses                                                                         Php    28, 215

That is my conservative calculation of our monthly expenses.  There are still many or some items that are not included.

Hindi pa kasama diyan ang suot sa katawan, pampahid sa katawan, mukha at buhok. Panlinis ng tenga. Pampabango ng kili-kili, katawan, banyo, kwarto at opisina.

And of course budget for EDUCATION!

Next to it are:

• the electric bill (Php 2,000/month. Excess to the said amount will be charged to me)
• telephone and internet connection bill, 
• water bill

Good thing, the church pays for the bills above.  

Another bonus is the house provision.   I think that as the kind of housing we have right now, we need to pay around Php 8,000 - Php 10,000 if we are charged for housing expenses.

My monthly income                                                                                                   

Basic Pay                                                                                                                Php      22,000

Total Allowances                                                                                                                 6,300

Total Gross Income                                                                                              Php     28, 300

Total Net Income(estimated)                                                                                          26, 750


I cannot count the times  that I heard the benefit  of having a budget and sticking to it.   After I did, I had the following realizations:

1.  That my expenses is much much higher than my income.
2.  That I cannot send all my five children to school.  Even to public school were school projects abound.
3.  That converting to cash all my benefits and adding it to my present income, I would be receiving close to Php 45,000 a month.  That is a very descent salary to the present standard.
4.  That being a descent salary is still not enough because of number 2.
5.  That it gives me a feeling of sadness but when I learned that my mission pastor friend in Batangas is enduring a budget  of Php 60 a dayfor a family of 5.
6.  That I am torn between being sad or being grateful.
7.  That me being assigned  to the biggest church in our conference if not the biggest in the country, does not solve my other material concerns.
8. That I have the right to feel irritated to those who think and expect me to help them just  because I am assigned to the biggest church.
9.  That I really have to be conscious on my spending.
10.  That I am teaching my children to manage their own money.  They have to bear with one hundred pesos a day for their meals.
11.  That my budgeting discourages me to lend money to others.  I think I have refused two people so far.  Unlike before that I am much willing to lend.
12.  That I survived through the years anyway.  Singlehandedly.  I  do not get any financial support from my parents and my in laws even when I got widowed with three children.  And I am not complaining because at least I can tell to the whole world that I did not bother anyone for my children's living and education.
13.  That I was able to survive through the love gift that I receive from friends and churches that invite to speak to them.  That is the only way that I can have an extra money or do I really have an extra money.
14.  That I am grateful to be a chaplain of a school because that gives me a regular extra income.  Although it means that I am working practically 7 days a week.

So, may maganda bang naidudulot ang pagba-budget kahit obviously kulang talaga ang pera? Definitely meron.  Ang namimissed ko lang naman nung  hindi pa ako nagbubudget e yung feeling ko na may pera pa ako at may paparating pa. Kasi sa ngayon, ,matapos kong magbudget, ang feeling ko ay kulang ang pera at takot akong gumasta.

                                          

WHY WOMEN WASH THE DISHES THE SEQUEL

     We grew up with the story of Why Women Wash The Dishes? This is good news for a home with lots of women. But to our house that is full of men, we can never outgrow the fight on who is in charge with washing the dishes.  Is it my eldest Amos, my middle child, Amiel or my third son, Amen?  Scheduling worked at first.  Cheating overtook later. Complaining follows without end.  And most of the times, dealing and deciding on the complaint is more laborious than soaking one's hand in the sink.

   
     One night,  I was in the complaint corner again.  Tired and sick of the problem, I suddenly thought of giving them meal allowance.  Yes, meal allowance.  Di ba, ang gandang sequel ng kuwentong ito sa Why Women Wash The Dishes?   Ang title ay Why Men Feed On Meal Allowance?

 And the story goes like this: 

          Once there was a father who had three sons who were always fighting on who should wash the dishes.  The father made a schedule for the three of them which at first, worked.  But cheating overtook them later.  What followed was an unending complaint from the three sons.  The father begged them to cooperate with each other but no one wanted to give way.  They were not even moved by their father's sermon.  The problem went on.

       The truth was, washing the dishes was not the only problem that the father constantly faced.  Many times he felt stressed going to the market and thinking of what to cook and who will cook.

         One night, when he arrived home, the usual complaint met him in the house.  That night, neither begging nor giving sermon was heard  from the father.  What he did was to give them a monthly meal allowance.

         Since then, the father ceased from frequenting to the grocery to buy food and thinking who will cook.  He stopped worrying anymore about his sons meal every time he came home late.  Finally, begging, preaching and complaining were never heard anymore inside the house of men who feed on meal allowance.

          And they ate happily ever after ....

Di ba parang fairy tale lang?  What could be my next post?  Pwede ring Why The Blogger Left His Readers?  It's been seven months of hiatus.  I am back and I am starting over again:-)
    

POST-POST NA POST-POST

Dapat sana ay nagmeet kami last December for Christmas celebration pero hindi nangyari dahil sa kaabalahan.

Dapat sana ay nagmeet kami last January for New Year's fellowship pero hindi rin nangyari dahil pa rin sa kaabalahan.

Dumating ang February at puwede naman sanang Valentine's gathering pero hindi pa rin natuloy dahil HINDI NGA MATULOY-TULOY. Hahahahaha!

Pero yesterday, at last, natuloy na ang overdue meet up.  At lahat ng mga celebrations na hindi natuloy ay pinagsama-sama na doon. Post Christmas Celebration, Post New Year Celebration, Post Chinese New Year Celebration and Post Valentine's Celebration.  In short, Post-Post na Post-Post ang natuloy naming gawain. Hahahaha!

Saan bang venue ang nakaka-puspos?  Siyempre pa sa mga eat-all-you can na mga restaurants.  And speaking of buffet restaurant, ano pa ba ang madalas na bukambibig ng karamihan kundi ang ...

The Ultimate Buffet Experience
I  had ever been so far!

2 pm pa lang nasa SM North EDSA na si Mommy Leony (the one in the middle in the photo above) para mauna kami sa mga walk-in customer na pipila.  I tried having reserved seat thru the internet but  it should have been done much much earlier.

Mabuti naman at number one nga kami sa mga walk-in.  I arrived sa Viking's at past 5 pm.  5:30 pm ang simula ng dinner at mag end ng 10 pm.  

Immediately after kami papasukin and were ushered to our table, both of them asked  me to start getting my food.

My first plate.
Bits and pieces different meals.

I decided not to eat any rice to prevent me becoming full right away.  Nonetheless, nakakabusog pa rin ang kinuha ko.

My second plate.
I love salads kaya hindi
puwedeng hindi ako kumuha nito.

In between meals siyempre ay kuwentuhan.  May ilang times na rin kaming nagkaroon ng meal fellowship nila Mommy Juling at Mommy Leony pero ito lang huli ko narealized na sila ay dalawa sa mga babae na mahilig na magtrabaho.  

Mommy Juling and Mommy Leony after a good meal
was having a good chat.

Mommy Juling is long past her retirement age but her zeal as an employee in a private hospital keeps her  working  because they still want her to work for them.  And I admire her for that.

Mommy Juling:  Pastor, hangga't kaya ng dalawang paa ko at kamay magtratrabaho ako. Kaya kahit pinahihinto na ako sa pagtratrabaho e ayaw kong huminto.  Kaya mahirap din ang masyadong submissive na asawa.

Mommy Leony:  Oo nga! 

Yap, pareho silang "working girls" material pero hindi sila parehong "yes girls" sa kanilang husbands. Hahahaha!  Kay Mommy Leony naman tayo.  She used to work in Hallmark Publishing.  By the time her husband decided to put up a business of their own, he asked Mommy Leony to stop.  And she did at nag-business na nga lang silang mag-asawa.

But in fairness naman kay Mommy Leony, now that all her children have their respective families, she is just enjoying to the fullest the blessings that her children pour on her.  Tapos sa pag-aaral at may mga stable jobs ang kanyang mga anak.  Ganoon din naman si Mommy Juling.

While listening to them, there are so many wishes that popped into my mind.  How I wish I would be as zealous workers as them.  How I wish I could have children as generous as theirs.  How I wish, we can have more buffet restaurants to dine in:)

I like it Hot and Sour! The Hot
and Sour Soup

A mixture of Japanese, Korean
and French Fool in one plate

Mommy Leony shared that his youngest son who is working in a big company and earning a huge amount would like to put up his own business instead.  Mommy Leony is against his son's plan.  According to her, it is better to expect a regular pay than to engage in business.  Based on her experience, she discourages anybody to involve in business.  Being a mom, she is preventing her children to sacrifice the same.  Well, mothers will always be mothers,  protective (twice over):)

Cream of Mushroom Soup

After my three serving of meals, I felt that it was time for dessert.

Selected Fruits.  Why did I miss
grapes and other fruits?

Avocado and Ube Ice Cream

When I thought that I was done with the dessert, Mommy got me another one ...

Hindi ko na nagawang magtry pa ng ibang drinks.  Nagkasya na lang ako sa apple cinnamon na drinks.  Wish I could taste all the foods that Vikings has to offer.  Marami pa talaga akong hindi natikman.  Kahit pala hindi ako kumain ng kanin at kaunti nito at kaunti niyan ang kainin ko, mabubusog pa rin talaga ang aking tiyan.  Samahan pa ng masayang usapan

Nangako naman ang aking dalawang Mommies na may sunod pa kaming matitikman.  Hindi ko lang tiyak kung anong POST CELEBRATIONS ang aming pagsasaluhan:)

A HEARTACHE ON A HEART'S DAY

It is not that I am not romantic, I am just unconventional especially during Valentine's Day.  The most that I can do on that day is to greet people back with Happy Heart's Day.  Yesterday was no different.  We had a Valentine's activity at 3 pm  but I preferred not to attend.  

Little did I know that I cannot escape the affair of the heart even if I skip and ignore it.  Yes I had a heartache on Heart's Day!

Yesterday afternoon when I visited again our newest attendee in our church with my son, Amiel.  She is in and out of the hospital.  Hindi dahil sa gumagaling siya kaya lumalabas ng hospital kundi dahil sa nauubusan sila ng pangtustos.  Dalawa lang silang mag-ina sa bahay.  Ngayong may sakit siya, kailangang huminto ng trabaho ng kanyang nanay para mabantayan siya.  Hindi pa stable ang condition niya gawa ng hindi niya matustusan ang ilang test na kailangang gawin sa kanya.

Ang malala pa ay ang pagpalit ng policy ng public hospital kung saan siya naka-confine.  Beginning Monday next week, may bayad na raw ang room at ang doctor.  Sa isang taong hirap sa buhay, paano nga ba siya makaka-survive sa ganitong kalagayan.

Alysa:  Pastor, hindi nga ako gaano makatulog kakaisip kung saan kami kukuha ng pera.  Tulungan mo ako Pastor kasi baka kapag lumabas ako sa  Monday dahil wala kaming pambayad e matuluyan na ako.  Pastor, hirap na hirap na ako.

Tama si Alysa, may mga taong maysakit na natutuluyan hindi dahil walang lunas ang kanilang karamdaman kundi dahil wala silang mapagkukunan.

Habang nagsasalita si Alysa, tuloy ang Senate hearing at may Senador na isinasangkot na mamatay na lamang daw ay hindi pa tumitigil sa pagkuha ng kayamanan ng bayan.  Parang mga walang puso!

Nag-abot lang ako sa kanya ng pera na galing sa offering ng caregroup namin tuwing Tuesday.  Dinagdagan ko na lang para mabuo na P500.  

Nasabi ko sa sarili ko, isa na namang panahon ng buhay ko ito na I felt very weak dahil wala ako gaano magawa bukod sa panalangin.  

Sa Valentine's Day na iyon, HINDI NA  lang PAG-IBIG ang kailangan ni Alysa KUNDI AWA.  HINDI NA lang BULAKLAK at CHOCOLATES ang magpapasaya sa kanya KUNDI PAMBILI NG GAMOT AT PAMBAYAD SA OSPITAL.

Matapos ko siyang ipanalangin, nangako ako na magpapa-offering sa gabi para pandagdag na tulong sa kanya.  

Si Alysa habang umuubo at
nahihirapang huminga

Stolen shot ang kuha ko sa kanya.  Mahirap kasing harapin ang sitwasyon niya.  Ayaw kong pati ang camera makaramdam ng awa sa kanya.

February 15 today.  May humahabol pa sa Heart's Day.  May dagdag pa ring heartaches sa akin. May dinalaw ako uli sa hospital with Amen Learn.

Unlike Alysa, mas able naman si Ate Nympha.  Pero mas malala ang sitwasyon niya.  She is a diabetic and marami na ang complications ng kanyang sakit.  Her attending physician could not treat her right away out of fear na hindi niya kayanin ang iniisip na medication.  Well, even, she, herself, resist her medications.

While I was holding her hands, ganito ang sabi niya sa akin.

Nympha:  Pastor, pagod na pagod na ako.  

Her daughter, Precious butt in, "Kakanta pa kayo ni Pastor." Magaling na singer at choir member si Ate Nympha.  Sayang lang at may sakit na siya nang dumating ako sa church kaya madalang na siyang makasimba.  Pero nagawa naman naming magkantahan sa isang panahon na akin siyang binisita.

Pero kanina, parang gusto niya na lang sa langit kumanta.  Minsan, according kay Precious, hindi na siya nakakakilala.

Si Ate Nympha habang
nakikipaglaban sa sakit niya.

Stolen shot uli ang kuha ng aking camera.  Nang makapanalangin kami, natuwa naman ako kasi nagrequest pa siya ng kuha ng camera.  Puwede naman palang hindi stolen:)  Medyo naibsan tuloy ang sakit ng aking damdamin.

Nasabi sa akin ni Precious na ayaw niya pang umalis ang kanyang ina.  Kahit nahihirapan siya sa pag-aalaga at kahit alam ng marami ang tindi ng hirap niya.  Kahit nga nadudurog na ang puso niya.  Yung kanya ngang ama ay hindi nagbabantay sa ospital dahil hindi daw kaya ang kanyang nakikita.  Nagawa lang dumalaw kahapon dahil Valentine's Day.

Pero ayaw pa sumuko ni Precious.  Kinakaya niya pa.  Ang puso kasi, kahit durog na, nakukuha pa ring magmahal.

ANO RAW?

Sunday evening (January 26, 2014) I was scheduled to give a short message to a debut.  Saturday morning when another invitation (the day itself) to attend a debut came.  I was busy that day but how can I refuse an invitation from a dear friend and  classmate in high school.  How can I say no to her invitation the fact I was the only one among our classmates that was invited together with selected relatives and friends of the debutant?  My schedule was busy, the venue of the debut was far (Mandaluyong) but the feeling of being privileged to be invited overpowers my other concerns.

There in the debut, I was already thinking of a profound message to say in case I was asked to give a message.  My classmate did not ask of me anything but to attend.  But many times, I was asked on the spot to give message or to lead in prayers.  Hindi lang dapat boyscout ang laging handa, kailangan ang pastor din lalo na sa handaan. Hehehehehe!  

The celebration started with an opening prayer.  I was not asked to lead the prayer.  I was thinking that come meal time, I might be asked to pray. My mind was already thinking of what my prayer should be while I was talking to the sister of the father of the debutant who was seated beside me.  She  happened to be a chaplain in a government children's hospital.  I was surprised to meet a layperson doing a chaplaincy work.  I had this impression that only church workers can do it.  She told me that even a pastor needs to undergo training on chaplaincy because most pastors have this tendency to talk and to give advice to the patient.  But the most important learning in chaplaincy is "to listen".  

The truth is, I have no issue on the value of listening.  I preach and practice it.  Balik tayo sa celebration.  Panahon na ng 18 messages.  Nagfeeling boyscout na naman ako.  Baka kasi may hindi dumating mula sa 18 messages at ako ang gawin alternate.  Eto na naman ako na nag-iisip ng profound na mensahe.  At habang nag-iisip ay binigyang panahong pakinggan ang mensahe ng 18 messages na mostly ay mula sa kanyang kaibigan.  At kumapara sa iniisip kong sabihin sa mga naririnig ko, nasabi ko na wala namang gaanong sense ang mga sinasabi ng 18 messages.  Ilan sa kanila ang nagsabi na malayo ang venue, maganda ang debutant.  Kung maririnig mo ang nasa isip ko mula sa mga messages na naririnig ko.  Ang sabi nito ay "ANO RAW?" Wala kasi akong makuha sa mga sinasabi kundi ang nakikita ko madalas ay yung hagikgikan na common sa mga kabataan, at padyakan out of the excitement they felt for the debutant.  In short, KADALASAN AY WALANG SENSE ang aking mga narinig, ang iba naman, ay cliche na.  Yun ang sa tingin ko.  Pero as the celebration went on I realized na yung walang sense sa akin ay hindi ibig sabihin na walang sense sa iba.  Moreover, I realized na sa buhay, hindi naman kailangan laging may sense o may kwenta.  At ang pinakahigit kong natutunan ay, ang mga pinakamalalim na mensahe sa buhay ay hindi kayang ipaliwanag ng mga salita.  ANG LALIM BA? Hahahahaha! In other words, WORDS ARE JUST WORDS and there are things that are MORE THAN WORDS.  May may sinasabi ang mga hagikgikan, hampasan at samahan ng mga magkakaibigan higit sa sinasabi ng mga salita.

Kung minsan, ang mga may kwenta ay nagmumula rin sa mga walang kwenta.  

Natapos ang 18 messages.  Hindi ako nahilingang magsalita.  Dumating na sa kainan, kanya-kanyang prayer ang nangyari.  Kumain ako at nakipagkwentuhan.  Naghintay at nakinig sa mga mensaheng aking matitikman sa mga pagkakataong hindi pinagplanuhan.  Nang gabing iyon, wala talagang mensahe na narinig mula sa akin.  Ako pala ang makatatanggap ng isang napakahalagang mensahe.  

Nagpaalam ako matapos kumain dahil malayo pa ang aking uuwian at may naghihintay pa sa aking gawain. Pero hindi man ako nahilingang magsalita, hindi naman pumayag ang aking classmate na hindi ko siya pagbigyan na ... magpapicture:)

My classmate, friend and the debutant's mother, Haidee

Me, besides the debutant, Ara

Ika nga, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Ati isang libong beses nang sinasabi ng picture na ito na ang taba-taba ko na talaga.  Hahahahaha!

Sunday evening came at nasa debut na naman ako.  This time, one month prior to the debut ay hinilingan ako ng mother of the debutant na magbigay ng 5 minute message.  That was short  and that was tough.  Ano ang importante na dapat kong sabihin sa loob lamang ng limang minuto.  

Na on-the spot ako na maglead ng opening prayer.  Narinig ko na naman ang mga 18 messages na kagaya nang naunang debut na dinaluhan ko at perhaps sa mga dadaluhan ko pa, wala namang ganoong sense ang mga sinabi sa mga mensahe.  Nandoon pa rin ang hagikgikan, padyakan at bukingan sa pagitan ng debutant at ng kanyang mga friends.

Pero, gaya nga nang natutunan ko sa naunang debut, natuwa na ako sa limang minuto na panahon para magsalita  ako.  Hindi na ako nag-isip ng mga malalalim ng mga isipan para sabihin sa mga tao.  Tinuro ko lang ang debutant sa mga tao na dumalo at sinabi na sila ang mensahe sa pagdiriwang na ito.  Sila na kahit hindi magsalita ay may mas malalim na mensahe.  Mensaheng nagsasabi na hindi siya nag-iisa o mag-iisa sa buhay.  Na may mga tao hindi man magsalita ay ipakikita naman ang kanilang malasakit sa kanilang gawa.

At kami ang ilan sa mga taong iyon.

So, paano? Ang dami ko nang sinabi sa entry na ito.  Gusto ko lang iparating sa inyo ang mensaheng, narito pa rin ako at narito lang ako kahit walang naririnig sa bibig ko:)

WHAT CAN I GIVE YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

Panahon na naman ng kapaskuhan. Panahon na naman ng exchange gifts.  Last Tuesday (Dec. 17, 2013) ay Christmas Party nila Diko Amiel sa school.  He told me that he will shoulder the gift for his teacher.  I usually buy their teachers a gift during Christmas. But this year, nagkusa na siyang siya na ang bumili ng gift for his teacher.  Natuwa nama ako. Pero may twist pala yun. Dahil in return, I have to pay for his exchange gift.  Well, pumayag na rin ako kasi at least, nakalibre man lang ako sa iba.  He went to PCBS and bought not only for two persons but for four.  I asked him why he bought four. He said he will give it to two others. He asked me to wrap all the gifts which I gladly did.

Wednesday afternoon nang bumaba siya at sinabing ililibre niya raw ako ng pagkain sa labas. I am trying to diet these days.  Yes, diet on Christmas.  Sadista lang ang peg ko.  Hahahaha!  But dahil ililibre niya ako, kinalimutan ko na muna ang pagpapapayat.  I told him I want to eat in Jollibee.  Habang nasa daan kami, nasabi niya sa akin na gusto niyang i-donate ang pera niya.  I immediately told him na sa akin niya na lang i-donate.  Hahahahahaha!  Pero hindi niya ikinatuwa yun. Huhuhu! My next suggestion is sa church niya ibigay.  He refused again.

Among my kids, it is Diko Amiel who knows how to save.  Siya ay may pinakamaliit na allowance sa school pero siya ang may pinakamaraming naiipon.  Minsan nga, humihiram pa ako sa kanya.

Inside the Jollibee ay kainan kami at kuwentuhan.

Order namin

Me:  Kanino mo ibinigay yung dalawa mo pang regalo sa Christmas party niyo?
Amiel: Yung sa isa kong classmate na babae.  Hindi kasi sila magkasundo ng nanay niya.  Yung isa naman, sa isa kong kaklase na may problema rin.

Me: Sa Sunday ay My Birthday Gift to Jesus sa church.  Doon mo na lang ibigay ang gusto mong ibigay.
Amiel:  Gusto ko kasing bigyan e yung tao talaga na nangangailangan.

Kain uli kami.  Ang tagal kasi ng hamburger dumating.  Hahahahaha!

Me: Si Ayan na lang ang bigyan mo.  Nanghihingi sa akin ng tsinelas yun.
Amiel:  Ganon ba? Ok( Si Ayan yung member namin sa church na former drug addict na ulila na sa ina na may ibang pamilya na ang ama na  nag-iisa na lamang sa bahay na laging pumupunta sa aming bahay para makikain na gustong makitira sa amin na nanghihingi ngayon ng tsinelas).

Dumukot si Diko Amiel sa kanyang bulsa.

Pambili ng tsinelas

Nang hapon na yun.  Tuwang-tuwa ako kay Diko Amiel kasi nilibre niya ako.  Priceless kapag nililibre ng anak ang magulang.  Pero ang higit na priceless ay ang matutunan ng anak ko na magbigay sa iba.

Amiel:  Papa, masarap pala sa pakiramdam yung nakakapagbigay ka
Me: (Speechless)

Naalala ko tuloy yung usapan namin kahapon ng isang miyembro na namatayan ng tiyahin ng kanyang asawa.  Dahil daw sa may ipamamana yung namatay, nag-aaway-away na raw ang mga tagapagmana.  Naisip ko tuloy na minsan, masama pa yung may iiwan kang materyal sa mga anak mo pagyao mo.  At natutuwa naman ako na ma-realized na kung natutunan nga ni Diko Amiel sa akin ang pagiging mapagbigay sa nangangailangan, masaya na akong iyon ang ipamamana ko sa mga anak ko.

Tamang-tama naman ang kuwento kong ito sa journaling ko today.  Sabi kasi sa Psalm 41:1-2, "Blessed is the one who considers the poor!  In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies."

Isa pang naalala ko ay yung kantang, What Can I Give You This Christmas?  Nasagot na yun ni Diko.  Sana ganuon din ang sagot sa ating lahat:)

A SHELTER FOR MANY

It is my nature to be accommodating.  I would like to make people feel comfortable with me.  It gives me pressure to have guests because I would like to give more than I can just to entertain them.  And I feel disappointment if I feel that I am not able to do so.

Last Sunday, December 8, 2013 was our Family Sunday in the church.  As always, we had an invited speaker. And as the occasion calls for, he would be speaking about the family.

When his turn to speak came, he started with giving prophecy to families through the painting of his wife.  Yes, his wife paints and the painting has a prophetic meaning.  Prior to the giving of painting, the speaker asked about my family.  I told him some of my family members were not around.

They had to give three paintings.  The first went to our lay leader's family. The said family was asked how do they understand the painting.   I was expecting to be called and since only two of us in the family were present that Sunday made me feel uncomfortable.

But I was not called after our lay leader instead another family was given the painting. While the second family was listening to the prophetic meaning of the painting ready by the painter herself, the third painting was visible to me.  I love the painting but was not ready to receive it. I think everybody was expecting that our family will be called the first but was not called the next.  So, I was relieved and thought that no painting will be given to me.

But I was wrong.  I was called.  And I was happy to accept the painting that I instantly fell in love with.

The Painting I love

Just as the other two families were asked what do they think of the painting, I said mine.  I told the speaker and his wife that the color green that is predominant in the painting is my favorite.  It symbolized hope and life.  And every family needs hope for it faces different challenges.  The fruits of the trees symbolized the calling to every family, that is, to bear fruit not just biologically but spiritually and other forms of growth. I said to them that although I have many children, I keep on considering more children especially in youth of the church.

The Prophetic Meaning I Claim

Our deaconess (woman church worker) could not agree more and was in tears when she was hearing the prophecy to me.  She said to herself, "He is really the prophecy,"  She shared this when we were talking with each other after the service.

I was so grateful to the giver of the painting.  Not only the painting is beautiful, but also meaningful.  After all, I was not wrong to be helpful and accommodating to other people, to less fortunate people.  To others, I was too kind to a fault.  But the prophecy tells me otherwise.

They say that "A picture/painting speaks of a thousand words." I say that a prophecy fulfills itself even after a thousand years:)

ANG KUWENTO NA FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING

For five years ay hinihintay ko ang balitang ito.

For five years, panay ang tanong ko.

For five years, nag-aalala ako.

Last October, naka-five years na ako.  Yipee!

Last Saturday, nasabi sa akin ng nanay ko, "Tapos na ako sa paggagamot.  Sa isang taon na ang balik ko sa ospital."

Itsurang "ok" lang ang pagtanggap ko sa balita ng nanay ko.  Ganon din ka-casual ang pagtanggap ko nang five years ago ay sabihin ng nanay ko sa amin na, "may breast cancer ako!" Yes, my mother is a cancer survivor. Isang karanasang napakahirap sabihin lalo pa ang maranasan.

But deep inside I was so happy to hear her free of medicines and free of cancer cells.  Deep inside I was shouting and jumping for joy dahil sa kabutihan ng Panginoon.

Deep inside I was so worried and scared the first time she broke the news of her ailment.  I remember nagkita kami sa Philippine General Hospital for her check up.  Galing siya ng Tondo habang sa Cavite naman ako.  That was the day the doctor's diagnosis will be released.

Sa harap ng doctor, magkatapat kaming nakaupo ng nanay ko.  "Cancer ang sakit mo" pagtatapat ng duktor.  Agad akong nagtanong, "Anong stage po Doc?"  "Stage 2" ang kanyang sagot.

Lunchtime nang umalis kami sa clinic.  Humanap kami ng makakainan.  Walang gaanong imikan. Pinipilit na gawing normal na ang lahat ng bagay habang kani-kanina  lang ay para kaming nasa Hiroshima na sinabugan ng bomba.  Pumunta sa comfort room ang aking nanay. Siya ay medyo nagtagal.  Naisip ko na lang, baka doon saglit siyang umiyak at umimik.  Bumalik siya na walang bakas ng anuman sa kanyag mukha.  That afternoon, I knew and I proven how strong my mother as a person.That afternoon, we both tried to be brave for each other.  We both tried to fight against our fears.  My mother feared for her life.  I feared for a mother-less life.

It is self explanatory why my mother's case was that scary.  I think I am the one who have to explain my fear.  It is not just a fear of losing a mother.  It is also a fear of losing one's strength, of losing one's best friend.

Life with my mother is not perfect.  Life without her is worst.  Had my mother gone five years ago.  I do not know how could I assume the responsibilities which I am certain will be transferred on my shoulders.  Yes, responsibilities for my family and extended families is what my mother and I hand in hand shared.

I encouraged my mother to hold on and fight for her life.  I sent her daily encouragement.  I prayed for her. I told God, 'Lord, we just simply can't face this ordeal and shoulder the financial burden.  I just simply want my mother healed."

I guess, I have prayed the sincerest prayer that time that the Lord answered my prayers.  After my mother's operation and the biopsy, one afternoon, she was in the hospital to buy medicines, she called up to me crying, "Nel, sabi ng doctor, hindi na raw ako kailangang mag chemo.  Oral medicines na lang daw ako."  I was crying while I was listening to her. I was able to hold back my tears on the news of her sickness but on the news of her initial healing, I simply could not.  After all, THE TEARS OF JOY is the sweetest tears of all.

From then on, my mother's visit to the hospital started from

monthly

to every three months,

to every six months for five years and until now that she has passed the five year period to declare her CANCER FREE!

Having five more years of life is a blessing beyond compared.  Especially if within those years, there is a mother, a best friend and a source of strength:)

WAIT LANG

Kumusta na kayo mga readers? Nandiyan pa ba kayo? Dapat yata kayo ang magtanong sa akin kung nandito pa rin ako.  Hahahahahaha! It's been 1 1/2 month na rin kasi mula nang huling post ko.  Actually, may mga naisusulat naman ako pero puro drafts nga lang. Hahahahaha! Dahil sa matagal na rin akong nahinto, ang hirap na namang magsimula.

Bakit nga ba ako natagalan? Siyempre may mga dahilan.  Pinakamadaling sabihin ay dahil sa kaabalahan. I must say na masyado lang naging makulay ang buhay ko na sa sobrang kulay ay hindi ko alam kung paano ko isusulat.  Kung ang ating bansa ay dinaanan ng iba't ibang kalamidad, ganoon din sa personal  kong buhay.  Yung feeling ko tapos na pero may mga aftermaths pa pala. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, bakit ba kailangan ang post kong ito? Wala lang, just to set the mode and the tone siguro.  Gusto ko lang sigurong sabihin na eto na naman ako at hihingi ng konting panahon niyo para pakinggan ang pang-araw-araw na buhay ko.

Gusto ko nang bumalik uli sa aking pagsusulat.  Siya nga pala, andito ngayon si Ayan. Kumakain habang nagsusulat ako nitong post na ito.  Wala pa ring ipinagbago.  Nanghihingi pa rin ng saklolo.  Kaunti pa rin ang naitutulong ko.  Sa gitna ng kanyang pagkain, tinanong niya ako kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng salitang "talikdan"? Sagot ko, "kinalimutan" o "iniwanan".   Wala lang, may mga bagay lang na kailangan kong talikdan na at iwanan.  There is no use of holding on.  In the same manner, may mga bagay na kailangan namang balikan gaya ng pagsusulat ko at ang mga bumabasa nito.

I pray na bukas ay may sunod na post na ako.  Ika nga ng laging sagot sa akin ni Amen Learn, "Wait lang,":0

HULING ARAW NG SETYEMBRE

Tanghaling tapat ngunit humahagupit ang ulan
Nagbibigay alalahanin sa mga bagay na gagawin
Dahil katulad  ng madalas na nangyayari
Sa pagbuhos ng ulan, nababalam ang marami .

Ika-apat ng hapon nang kami ay makaalis
Tumila na ang ulan pero oras naman ng uwian
Siksikan, tulakan, alitan ang matutunghayan
Saan man sa mga pampublikong sasakyan.

Huling araw ngayon ng  Setyembre
Huling araw  rin sana ng pag-ulan
Huling araw  rin sana ng pagkabalam
Ng takbo ng buhay at ng mga sasakyan.

Nagpasalin-salin sa tatlong sasakyan
Kasama ako, tatlo kaming tinahak ang daan
Panahon na naman ng hatiran
Pagkikita'y  sa katapusan na naman ng buwan.

Kung puwede lang sana na wala na ang sunduan
Lalo naman sanang puwedeng wala na ang hatiran
Upang hindi na mag-aalala sakaling umulan man
At magpasalin-salin sa mga sasakyan.

Ngunit gaya ng ulan na biglang bumubuhos
Unos ng buhay minsan ay padalus-dalos
Mararamdaman na lamang na ikaw ay basa
At ang baha ay tumataas, rumaragasa.

Kung maaari lang sana ay huwag munang makita
Upang sakit ng damdamin huwag manariwa
Subalit anong magagawa kung may nagdudugtong
Mga batang ihahatid at susunduin sa istasyon.

Inalok ng kape at tinapay nang dumating.
Kahit ayaw galawin ay napilitan man din.
Mga mata ng ibang tao ay nakatingin.
Kahit paano ayaw na ikaw  ay pahiyain.

Sunud-sunod ang subo at panay-panay ang lagok
Sa tinapay at kape na ang lasa'y kagyat na nalimot
Dahil mas mapait pa sa kape at matabang pa sa tinapay
Ang sakit na idinulot ng ginawa mo sa aking buhay.

Matapos kumain, muling inalok ng panibago
Tama nang minsan, gaya ng minsan akong niloko.
Bagama't nag-aalangan ang loob ay nilakasan
Tumayo na at nagpaalam, handa nang lumisan,

Matapos magpaalam sa mga hinahatid at sinusundo
Lumakad na ako papalabas ng pinto
Inihatid na animo'y nandoon pa ang pagsuyo
O baka naman iwas lamang sa sasabihin ng tao.

Walang lingun-lingon ako ay lumakad
Matapos ang matipid na paalam at paiwas na tinginan
Pinilit ituwid ang lakad ng nanghihinang katawan
Habang nagmamadali na makarating sa sakayan,

Pag liko sa kanto ang luha ay pumatak
Tumila na ang ulan ngunit hindi ang pag-iyak
Huling araw na nga Setyembre, marahil ulan ay huli na rin.
Ngunit ang sakit ng damdamin ay nadarama pa rin.

Kung kailan matatapos ang pag-iyak ay di alam
Nanalangin na sana ay may mapagdiskitahan
Upang bigong damdamin sa lungkot ay  mapigilan
At sumikat na ang araw pagkatapos ng ulan.

MY HUSBAND'S LOVER'S LOVER

Last Sunday, aking inamin at ikinumpisal sa mga miyembro during my sermon na ako ay masugid na tagasubaybay ng mapangahas na teleserye sa GMA na My Husband's Lover(MHL).  Being a gay-themed series, I am not sure what would people's judgment on the soap opera and to the people who watch it.  I got negative reactions from some of my members on the said teleserye. One time when the youth in the church had an overnight activity over a member's house and the television happened to be tuned on MHL, one of our youth leaders remarked, "Bakit yan?"  One Sunday, during lunchtime, the mother of the said youth leader also expressed her dislike on MHL. Those reactions gave me a feeling of keeping my fondness of MHL to myself.

Why do I watch MHL?  More than its controversial theme, it is soap opera for everybody.  It makes the viewers realize that gayness has something to do with the things we also value like true love,  family, friendship, responsibility, forgiveness and others.

It is not an ordinary teleserye were missing baby or mother abound, villains who are more evil than Satan, dream sequence, kidnapping, resurrection of the dead and other plot that insult the intelligence of the viewers.

MHL is a groundbreaking program not just because of its subject but also on the treatment of the subject.  Sa teleseryeng ito naturuan ang mga tao na gay can be as normal as other people except that they prefer same sex for a lover. That they can be a successful professionals like Architect, Businessman and Chef at hindi lang isang screaming faggot na parlorista.

 The camera angle, thespic prowess of the all the casts, employment of objects as co-actors to highlight the emotions and drama of the teleserye  are all commendable.  This teleserye make you notice and appreciate the drinking glass, the lady bag, the cellphone, the elevator, the shoes and the condominium unit as part of the acting ensembles.

In this teleserye, every actor shift from being a protagonist and an antagonist from time to time.  There are no "Bella Flores" and "Eddie Garcia" type of villain here.

If there is plenty in MHL, it is the quotable quotes.  One can relate to one or two of those lessons.  One cannot avoid quoting them themselves.

In short, MHL is REALISTIC, BOLD AND UNPREDICTABLE soap opera.  It is about to end and yet, viewers are still guessing how it will be?  And based of the sudden and unexpected shift and turn that characterize this teleserye, it can be anybody's guess.  That makes it kaabang-abang talaga!

I must say that MHL indeed succeeds in setting the bar higher in doing soap opera in our country.  If other networks can produce another teleserye that will trend even beyond the world, only then they can top the record set by MHL.  Since Day 1, the Philippines and the rest of the world are talking about it.

So, why do I have to include MHL in my sermon?  It is because I talked about the "predictability in the church" that makes it boring and unattactive.

In the church, we sing the same song for the longest years.  We sit on the same pew Sunday after Sunday.  We attend the same activities year after year.  We hear messages that just repeat what the Bible has already said Sunday after Sunday.  We know when we will sit and stand in our mass or service.  We hear the same people dominate our Bible Studies and Sunday School.  It is always the same faces, places and results in the church.

The church does not set trends because it does not do anything new.  People are not excited to come to church because it will have no effect to their lives.  The church ended up as "passive listeners" than "active catalyst" of the society.

At para naman, may karamay ako sakaling ako ay i-persecute ng congregation dahil hindi ako nagiging modelo kung ano ang dapat panoorin, isinama ko na rin sa confession ko ang dalawang members na alam kong fan din ng MHL.  Hahahahahaha!

At mukhang hindi lang ako ang pastor na mapepersecute dahil I realized na among the pastors, marami rin pala ang mga MY HUSBAND'S LOVER'S LOVERS.  While I was attending a mentoring among church workers this afternoon, I overheard one saying, My Husband's Lover sa discussion namin whenever we talk about gay issue.  Nang tumunog ang Iphone ng lecturer namin, react agad ang mga pastors na ang tumatawag daw ay si Vincent o kaya si Lally.  We all know, that the main cast of MHL uses Iphone for a phone. Kaya identified na ang ring tone na yon sa MHL.  Hahahahaha!  Di ba obvious na affected ang buong bayan?  Natuwa naman ako dahil hindi naman pala ako nag-iisang nanonood. Hindi pala dapat confession ang ginawa ko last Sunday kundi PROMOTION.  Hahahahahaha!   I became more proud to be a My Husband's Lover's Lover.  Hahahahahaha!

I just hope that the popularity of this teleserye even among church workers would translate to the reaching the objective of the production people behind MHL.  That of being bold and unpredictable.

Some would like to extend MHL.  Some are suggesting how it will end.  Me, I don't care although I will miss MHL.  It is just enough for me to love a story that does not come everyday.

IF LOVING MY HUSBAND'S LOVER  IS A SIN, THEN I AM GUILTY!

ON INTUITION AND DREAMS

While the owner of the cellphone was fast asleep, suddenly a message came in.  I am not the type of person who pry on somebody's gadget.  But that very moment, I didn't know why I had this urge to read the message.  After reading the thread of the conversation, I was no longer sure if it was right for me to read a private's message, a very private one.  All I knew that night was, I could hardly slept.

But being a non-believer of what we call "intuition," I tried hard to brush off my "suspicion."  I tried to have faith in the person.  I retained my full trust.  After all, I am not a woman who heavily rely on intution.

We Filipinos called "intuition" as kutob.  It is a feeling that something is wrong somewhere.

Another mysterious thing that I am not a fan of is "dream."  Lalo na at may kasabihan tayo na kabaligtaran ng katotohanan ang panaginip. Late last year when I kept on dreaming about snakes and other animals biting and attacking me.  To dream such dream once can be  dismissed right away but having dream about it four times  can be alarming and  burdensome.  I prayed that Joseph the Dreamer would come back to life and help me interpret my dreams.

I search on the internet on the possible interpretation.  Some say that it has something to do with betrayal.  As to who will betray and how, I did not have any idea.  Good thing, the dreaming stopped. So was the burden.

But the reality came.  My intuition and dreams were right all along.  My suspicion was right.  I was indeed betrayed.  All I can utter one afternoon was, "Kaya pala, Kayo pala."  But it was too late.  If only I have followed my intuition and believed in my dreams.  I could have done something to prevent something.  I chose to trust.  We do make bad choices in life.  Next time, I will try harder to give intuition and dream a try.

I am not saying that I am now a fan of "intuition" and "dream".  It is just that I learned  that God can use the two "phenomena" to reveal something to us.  As what happened to me, in time, our intuition and dream might turn into a reality.

PAANO BA TATAMIS ANG BEER?

Attending a retreat, we were group by twos for a time of sharing.  We were asked to share about the people who hurt us the most in the past.  I admit, I was not ready to share because I have done telling about it many times in the past.  So I let my partner to start and share it all he can.

I listened to him talk about the people who hurt him.  The more I listen the more he talked until there was no time left for me to share.  But it was ok because that was  the best opportunity for him to share his feelings, his true feelings to someone whom he trust.

He said that he has nobody whom he can really pour out his innermost feelings.  Most of his friends are just there for random talks and superficial conversations.  He could not share it to his wife because he was afraid that he will be judged more than cared for.

We both felt that we need time to talk it over for a longer time in another place.  I was ok with that.  I like listening to people's story.

In the middle of our discussion, he suddenly asked me, "Umiinom ka ba ng beer?"  I was taken aback by his question.  But I recovered fast by saying, "I don't drink beer BUT I AM WILLING TO DRINK ONE if it is needed for him to be more open to me.

Like I said, drinking beer is not for me.  I hate its bitter taste.  Anything bitter, except "Ampalaya" I dislike.  I could not even stand bittersweet taste like other beverages available in the market.  I have a sweet, sour and salty tooth but not bitter tooth.  Hehehehehe!

If our talk happened back when I was still a conservative Christian, with pride I will say to him emphatically that I DON'T DRINK BEER AND I HATE PEOPLE DRINKING IT.  MORE SO, IF THOSE PEOPLE ARE CHRISTIANS.

But time changes. So do I. I no longer look at beer drinkers as evil.  There are more evil things than drinking beer, puffing a cigarette and other vices.  My saying no to drinking beer has something to do with health concerns.  Isa pa, hindi ko alam kung paano ako malasing.  Who knows? Baka kapag nalasing ako ay katulad ako ng mga tiyuhin ko at kakilala na kapag nalalasing ay nagiging:

• Sobrang "cheesy".  Lahat kini-kiss niyayakap at sinasabihan ng "i love you" kahit lalaki.  
• Sobrang "drama".  Iyak nang iyak at sabi nang sabi ng kanyang sama ng loob.
• Sobrang "war freak".  Ang tapang tapang kapag lasing, kahit sino inaaway.
• Sobrang "galante".  Namimigay ng pera pero kapag nahimasmasan ay binabawi ito.
• Sobrang "messy".  Nagsusuka, natutulog at umiihi kahit saan.
• Sobrang "lasing".  Naghuhubo't hubad habang natutulog.

O di ba? Iba-iba ang epekto ng alak sa tao. Iyan ang mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw kong matutong uminom ng beer.  Mabuti sana kung katulad ako ng tatay ko na itinutulog lang ang pagkalasing.  Eh paano kung isa sa mga nabanggit ko sa taas e mangyari kung malasing ako? Eh kung paano kung lahat ng yun ay gawin ko.  Hahahahahahaha!

Another thing that made me surprised by his question was he's having no issue with a pastor drinking beer.  Wala pa lang issue sa kanya kung nainom ng beer ang pastor niya.  Well, meron namang ganoong mga members na hindi itinuturing na nakakawala ng kabanalan ang pag-inom ng beer.

Last Sunday, nagkita na naman kami.  He reminded me again of the part two of our sharing.  Hindi niya pala ito nakakalimutan.  I told him I am just a text away.

I am looking forward to having that day; our drinking session.  The day I wouldn't mind drinking a beer.

Oo, mapait pa rin ang magiging  panlasa ko sa beer.  It will always be.

But what will make this beer "sweet" is because through it, I will able to listen to somebody who badly needs someone to talk to.  And it can only happen  OVER A BOTTLE OF BEER.:-)


Speaking of beer, let me share to you one of my favorite songs.  I love the song's concept more than anything else:-)



                      

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER ESPECIALLY IF IT COMES WITH LOTS OF CAKE

Last August 25, 2013, my church family and me had celebrated my 43rd birthday.  It is a belated celebration since my birthday is in on the 22nd.

We had a simple celebration after our evening worship service.  First, I am so grateful to God for giving me another year of life.  I turned 43 this year.  The week of my birthday was the time when Habagat and Typhoon Maring were devastating the whole of Luzon, submerging places in the cities and the provinces.  Our celebration was also a celebration of our lives; on how God spared our lives from the calamity.

My church family did not fail to remember my special day.  I am so thankful to those who greeted me in advance, on the day and even belated happy birthday.  They turned the celebration into a cake party because of these:

Thank you very much Desalisa Family!

Lots of thanks to Tadeo Family

A Round Cake from Valeroso Family.
Much, much thanks!

This comes from the combined efforts of the youth.
I especially thank the dedication on this cake!
Hahahahahahaha!

Aside from the cakes, there were also some generous hearts who showered the celebration with these:

This is Valdez Family's share.
Thank you very much!

From Valdez Family

I think this also comes from the Valdez's

The Regular giver of Shoimai.
Thank you so much Daisy Te Family

Betiong and Vergara Family's Buko Pandan.
Maraming salamat sa dessert!

Of course, the celebration would not be complete without these groups:

The Youth

Family Groups

Mixed Groups

And some like it trio:

And there is one who simply enjoys it solo:

There were people who were missed by my camera but were as important to this occasion.  I am deeply grateful to them also.  The camera of my heart caught you and never forgets you:-)

I also thank those people who were not in the celebration but made their presence thru their gifts.  Kilala niyo na po kung sinu-sino kayo.

Too bad, my parents, brothers and other kin were not able to come because my mother got sick that afternoon.  I also regret not having my two other children, Aiehn Deosjua and Aiah Dasha on my birthday celebration.  The weather was to blame:-(

Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable evening.  Looking forward to having another birthday celebration next year.

SORRY NGA PALA SA MAHABANG TITLE NG POST NA ITO. GUSTO KO LANG  KASING HUMABA PA ANG BUHAY KO:-0