KUNG NAGBUDGET KA AT KULANG

      This is the extension of my post about my children having meal allowance.  Balak ko sana na isang post na lang pero mabuti na lang at hinati ko dahil mahaba pala kung pag-iisahin pa.  Isa pa, I am hesitant at first dahil alam mo naman ang tao  ay ibat ibang interpretation sa nababasa. Pero itinuloy ko narin at narealized ko na habang sinusulat ko ang post na ito na sa pagkakatanda ko this is my first major post on the subject of money.  Eh, may kwarta pa naman sa title ng blog na ito tapos walang mabasa tungkol dito. Hahaha!  Kaya eto na ang monthly budget ko.

I.  BILLS AND ALLOWANCES

Tithes                                            Php 3,000                                                          Php    3,000
Kids' meal allowance                         3,000 x 5                                                             15,000
My meal allowance                            3,000                                                                      3,000
Lola Rosie's allowance                       1,000                                                                      1,000
Cellphone load                                        515                                                                        515
Sky Cable                                                  500                                                                        500
Smart Post Paid                                       500                                                                         500


Total Amount                                                                                                          Php  23, 515

II.  GROCERIES

Transportation                             Php  2, 500                                                         Php    2, 500
Monthly dues                                              100                                                                       100
Haircut                                                          50 x 4                                                                  200
Water                                                            400                                                                       400
Gas                                                                 300                                                                       300
Shampoo                                                      400                                                                        400
Bath soap                                                      200                                                                       200
Laundry soap                                               200                                                                       200
Fabric Conditioner                                      200                                                                       200
Toothpaste                                                    100                                                                       100

Total Amount                                                                                                            Php      4, 700

Over all Total Monthly Expenses                                                                         Php    28, 215

That is my conservative calculation of our monthly expenses.  There are still many or some items that are not included.

Hindi pa kasama diyan ang suot sa katawan, pampahid sa katawan, mukha at buhok. Panlinis ng tenga. Pampabango ng kili-kili, katawan, banyo, kwarto at opisina.

And of course budget for EDUCATION!

Next to it are:

• the electric bill (Php 2,000/month. Excess to the said amount will be charged to me)
• telephone and internet connection bill, 
• water bill

Good thing, the church pays for the bills above.  

Another bonus is the house provision.   I think that as the kind of housing we have right now, we need to pay around Php 8,000 - Php 10,000 if we are charged for housing expenses.

My monthly income                                                                                                   

Basic Pay                                                                                                                Php      22,000

Total Allowances                                                                                                                 6,300

Total Gross Income                                                                                              Php     28, 300

Total Net Income(estimated)                                                                                          26, 750


I cannot count the times  that I heard the benefit  of having a budget and sticking to it.   After I did, I had the following realizations:

1.  That my expenses is much much higher than my income.
2.  That I cannot send all my five children to school.  Even to public school were school projects abound.
3.  That converting to cash all my benefits and adding it to my present income, I would be receiving close to Php 45,000 a month.  That is a very descent salary to the present standard.
4.  That being a descent salary is still not enough because of number 2.
5.  That it gives me a feeling of sadness but when I learned that my mission pastor friend in Batangas is enduring a budget  of Php 60 a dayfor a family of 5.
6.  That I am torn between being sad or being grateful.
7.  That me being assigned  to the biggest church in our conference if not the biggest in the country, does not solve my other material concerns.
8. That I have the right to feel irritated to those who think and expect me to help them just  because I am assigned to the biggest church.
9.  That I really have to be conscious on my spending.
10.  That I am teaching my children to manage their own money.  They have to bear with one hundred pesos a day for their meals.
11.  That my budgeting discourages me to lend money to others.  I think I have refused two people so far.  Unlike before that I am much willing to lend.
12.  That I survived through the years anyway.  Singlehandedly.  I  do not get any financial support from my parents and my in laws even when I got widowed with three children.  And I am not complaining because at least I can tell to the whole world that I did not bother anyone for my children's living and education.
13.  That I was able to survive through the love gift that I receive from friends and churches that invite to speak to them.  That is the only way that I can have an extra money or do I really have an extra money.
14.  That I am grateful to be a chaplain of a school because that gives me a regular extra income.  Although it means that I am working practically 7 days a week.

So, may maganda bang naidudulot ang pagba-budget kahit obviously kulang talaga ang pera? Definitely meron.  Ang namimissed ko lang naman nung  hindi pa ako nagbubudget e yung feeling ko na may pera pa ako at may paparating pa. Kasi sa ngayon, ,matapos kong magbudget, ang feeling ko ay kulang ang pera at takot akong gumasta.

                                          

WHY WOMEN WASH THE DISHES THE SEQUEL

     We grew up with the story of Why Women Wash The Dishes? This is good news for a home with lots of women. But to our house that is full of men, we can never outgrow the fight on who is in charge with washing the dishes.  Is it my eldest Amos, my middle child, Amiel or my third son, Amen?  Scheduling worked at first.  Cheating overtook later. Complaining follows without end.  And most of the times, dealing and deciding on the complaint is more laborious than soaking one's hand in the sink.

   
     One night,  I was in the complaint corner again.  Tired and sick of the problem, I suddenly thought of giving them meal allowance.  Yes, meal allowance.  Di ba, ang gandang sequel ng kuwentong ito sa Why Women Wash The Dishes?   Ang title ay Why Men Feed On Meal Allowance?

 And the story goes like this: 

          Once there was a father who had three sons who were always fighting on who should wash the dishes.  The father made a schedule for the three of them which at first, worked.  But cheating overtook them later.  What followed was an unending complaint from the three sons.  The father begged them to cooperate with each other but no one wanted to give way.  They were not even moved by their father's sermon.  The problem went on.

       The truth was, washing the dishes was not the only problem that the father constantly faced.  Many times he felt stressed going to the market and thinking of what to cook and who will cook.

         One night, when he arrived home, the usual complaint met him in the house.  That night, neither begging nor giving sermon was heard  from the father.  What he did was to give them a monthly meal allowance.

         Since then, the father ceased from frequenting to the grocery to buy food and thinking who will cook.  He stopped worrying anymore about his sons meal every time he came home late.  Finally, begging, preaching and complaining were never heard anymore inside the house of men who feed on meal allowance.

          And they ate happily ever after ....

Di ba parang fairy tale lang?  What could be my next post?  Pwede ring Why The Blogger Left His Readers?  It's been seven months of hiatus.  I am back and I am starting over again:-)
    

POST-POST NA POST-POST

Dapat sana ay nagmeet kami last December for Christmas celebration pero hindi nangyari dahil sa kaabalahan.

Dapat sana ay nagmeet kami last January for New Year's fellowship pero hindi rin nangyari dahil pa rin sa kaabalahan.

Dumating ang February at puwede naman sanang Valentine's gathering pero hindi pa rin natuloy dahil HINDI NGA MATULOY-TULOY. Hahahahaha!

Pero yesterday, at last, natuloy na ang overdue meet up.  At lahat ng mga celebrations na hindi natuloy ay pinagsama-sama na doon. Post Christmas Celebration, Post New Year Celebration, Post Chinese New Year Celebration and Post Valentine's Celebration.  In short, Post-Post na Post-Post ang natuloy naming gawain. Hahahaha!

Saan bang venue ang nakaka-puspos?  Siyempre pa sa mga eat-all-you can na mga restaurants.  And speaking of buffet restaurant, ano pa ba ang madalas na bukambibig ng karamihan kundi ang ...

The Ultimate Buffet Experience
I  had ever been so far!

2 pm pa lang nasa SM North EDSA na si Mommy Leony (the one in the middle in the photo above) para mauna kami sa mga walk-in customer na pipila.  I tried having reserved seat thru the internet but  it should have been done much much earlier.

Mabuti naman at number one nga kami sa mga walk-in.  I arrived sa Viking's at past 5 pm.  5:30 pm ang simula ng dinner at mag end ng 10 pm.  

Immediately after kami papasukin and were ushered to our table, both of them asked  me to start getting my food.

My first plate.
Bits and pieces different meals.

I decided not to eat any rice to prevent me becoming full right away.  Nonetheless, nakakabusog pa rin ang kinuha ko.

My second plate.
I love salads kaya hindi
puwedeng hindi ako kumuha nito.

In between meals siyempre ay kuwentuhan.  May ilang times na rin kaming nagkaroon ng meal fellowship nila Mommy Juling at Mommy Leony pero ito lang huli ko narealized na sila ay dalawa sa mga babae na mahilig na magtrabaho.  

Mommy Juling and Mommy Leony after a good meal
was having a good chat.

Mommy Juling is long past her retirement age but her zeal as an employee in a private hospital keeps her  working  because they still want her to work for them.  And I admire her for that.

Mommy Juling:  Pastor, hangga't kaya ng dalawang paa ko at kamay magtratrabaho ako. Kaya kahit pinahihinto na ako sa pagtratrabaho e ayaw kong huminto.  Kaya mahirap din ang masyadong submissive na asawa.

Mommy Leony:  Oo nga! 

Yap, pareho silang "working girls" material pero hindi sila parehong "yes girls" sa kanilang husbands. Hahahaha!  Kay Mommy Leony naman tayo.  She used to work in Hallmark Publishing.  By the time her husband decided to put up a business of their own, he asked Mommy Leony to stop.  And she did at nag-business na nga lang silang mag-asawa.

But in fairness naman kay Mommy Leony, now that all her children have their respective families, she is just enjoying to the fullest the blessings that her children pour on her.  Tapos sa pag-aaral at may mga stable jobs ang kanyang mga anak.  Ganoon din naman si Mommy Juling.

While listening to them, there are so many wishes that popped into my mind.  How I wish I would be as zealous workers as them.  How I wish I could have children as generous as theirs.  How I wish, we can have more buffet restaurants to dine in:)

I like it Hot and Sour! The Hot
and Sour Soup

A mixture of Japanese, Korean
and French Fool in one plate

Mommy Leony shared that his youngest son who is working in a big company and earning a huge amount would like to put up his own business instead.  Mommy Leony is against his son's plan.  According to her, it is better to expect a regular pay than to engage in business.  Based on her experience, she discourages anybody to involve in business.  Being a mom, she is preventing her children to sacrifice the same.  Well, mothers will always be mothers,  protective (twice over):)

Cream of Mushroom Soup

After my three serving of meals, I felt that it was time for dessert.

Selected Fruits.  Why did I miss
grapes and other fruits?

Avocado and Ube Ice Cream

When I thought that I was done with the dessert, Mommy got me another one ...

Hindi ko na nagawang magtry pa ng ibang drinks.  Nagkasya na lang ako sa apple cinnamon na drinks.  Wish I could taste all the foods that Vikings has to offer.  Marami pa talaga akong hindi natikman.  Kahit pala hindi ako kumain ng kanin at kaunti nito at kaunti niyan ang kainin ko, mabubusog pa rin talaga ang aking tiyan.  Samahan pa ng masayang usapan

Nangako naman ang aking dalawang Mommies na may sunod pa kaming matitikman.  Hindi ko lang tiyak kung anong POST CELEBRATIONS ang aming pagsasaluhan:)

A HEARTACHE ON A HEART'S DAY

It is not that I am not romantic, I am just unconventional especially during Valentine's Day.  The most that I can do on that day is to greet people back with Happy Heart's Day.  Yesterday was no different.  We had a Valentine's activity at 3 pm  but I preferred not to attend.  

Little did I know that I cannot escape the affair of the heart even if I skip and ignore it.  Yes I had a heartache on Heart's Day!

Yesterday afternoon when I visited again our newest attendee in our church with my son, Amiel.  She is in and out of the hospital.  Hindi dahil sa gumagaling siya kaya lumalabas ng hospital kundi dahil sa nauubusan sila ng pangtustos.  Dalawa lang silang mag-ina sa bahay.  Ngayong may sakit siya, kailangang huminto ng trabaho ng kanyang nanay para mabantayan siya.  Hindi pa stable ang condition niya gawa ng hindi niya matustusan ang ilang test na kailangang gawin sa kanya.

Ang malala pa ay ang pagpalit ng policy ng public hospital kung saan siya naka-confine.  Beginning Monday next week, may bayad na raw ang room at ang doctor.  Sa isang taong hirap sa buhay, paano nga ba siya makaka-survive sa ganitong kalagayan.

Alysa:  Pastor, hindi nga ako gaano makatulog kakaisip kung saan kami kukuha ng pera.  Tulungan mo ako Pastor kasi baka kapag lumabas ako sa  Monday dahil wala kaming pambayad e matuluyan na ako.  Pastor, hirap na hirap na ako.

Tama si Alysa, may mga taong maysakit na natutuluyan hindi dahil walang lunas ang kanilang karamdaman kundi dahil wala silang mapagkukunan.

Habang nagsasalita si Alysa, tuloy ang Senate hearing at may Senador na isinasangkot na mamatay na lamang daw ay hindi pa tumitigil sa pagkuha ng kayamanan ng bayan.  Parang mga walang puso!

Nag-abot lang ako sa kanya ng pera na galing sa offering ng caregroup namin tuwing Tuesday.  Dinagdagan ko na lang para mabuo na P500.  

Nasabi ko sa sarili ko, isa na namang panahon ng buhay ko ito na I felt very weak dahil wala ako gaano magawa bukod sa panalangin.  

Sa Valentine's Day na iyon, HINDI NA  lang PAG-IBIG ang kailangan ni Alysa KUNDI AWA.  HINDI NA lang BULAKLAK at CHOCOLATES ang magpapasaya sa kanya KUNDI PAMBILI NG GAMOT AT PAMBAYAD SA OSPITAL.

Matapos ko siyang ipanalangin, nangako ako na magpapa-offering sa gabi para pandagdag na tulong sa kanya.  

Si Alysa habang umuubo at
nahihirapang huminga

Stolen shot ang kuha ko sa kanya.  Mahirap kasing harapin ang sitwasyon niya.  Ayaw kong pati ang camera makaramdam ng awa sa kanya.

February 15 today.  May humahabol pa sa Heart's Day.  May dagdag pa ring heartaches sa akin. May dinalaw ako uli sa hospital with Amen Learn.

Unlike Alysa, mas able naman si Ate Nympha.  Pero mas malala ang sitwasyon niya.  She is a diabetic and marami na ang complications ng kanyang sakit.  Her attending physician could not treat her right away out of fear na hindi niya kayanin ang iniisip na medication.  Well, even, she, herself, resist her medications.

While I was holding her hands, ganito ang sabi niya sa akin.

Nympha:  Pastor, pagod na pagod na ako.  

Her daughter, Precious butt in, "Kakanta pa kayo ni Pastor." Magaling na singer at choir member si Ate Nympha.  Sayang lang at may sakit na siya nang dumating ako sa church kaya madalang na siyang makasimba.  Pero nagawa naman naming magkantahan sa isang panahon na akin siyang binisita.

Pero kanina, parang gusto niya na lang sa langit kumanta.  Minsan, according kay Precious, hindi na siya nakakakilala.

Si Ate Nympha habang
nakikipaglaban sa sakit niya.

Stolen shot uli ang kuha ng aking camera.  Nang makapanalangin kami, natuwa naman ako kasi nagrequest pa siya ng kuha ng camera.  Puwede naman palang hindi stolen:)  Medyo naibsan tuloy ang sakit ng aking damdamin.

Nasabi sa akin ni Precious na ayaw niya pang umalis ang kanyang ina.  Kahit nahihirapan siya sa pag-aalaga at kahit alam ng marami ang tindi ng hirap niya.  Kahit nga nadudurog na ang puso niya.  Yung kanya ngang ama ay hindi nagbabantay sa ospital dahil hindi daw kaya ang kanyang nakikita.  Nagawa lang dumalaw kahapon dahil Valentine's Day.

Pero ayaw pa sumuko ni Precious.  Kinakaya niya pa.  Ang puso kasi, kahit durog na, nakukuha pa ring magmahal.

ANO RAW?

Sunday evening (January 26, 2014) I was scheduled to give a short message to a debut.  Saturday morning when another invitation (the day itself) to attend a debut came.  I was busy that day but how can I refuse an invitation from a dear friend and  classmate in high school.  How can I say no to her invitation the fact I was the only one among our classmates that was invited together with selected relatives and friends of the debutant?  My schedule was busy, the venue of the debut was far (Mandaluyong) but the feeling of being privileged to be invited overpowers my other concerns.

There in the debut, I was already thinking of a profound message to say in case I was asked to give a message.  My classmate did not ask of me anything but to attend.  But many times, I was asked on the spot to give message or to lead in prayers.  Hindi lang dapat boyscout ang laging handa, kailangan ang pastor din lalo na sa handaan. Hehehehehe!  

The celebration started with an opening prayer.  I was not asked to lead the prayer.  I was thinking that come meal time, I might be asked to pray. My mind was already thinking of what my prayer should be while I was talking to the sister of the father of the debutant who was seated beside me.  She  happened to be a chaplain in a government children's hospital.  I was surprised to meet a layperson doing a chaplaincy work.  I had this impression that only church workers can do it.  She told me that even a pastor needs to undergo training on chaplaincy because most pastors have this tendency to talk and to give advice to the patient.  But the most important learning in chaplaincy is "to listen".  

The truth is, I have no issue on the value of listening.  I preach and practice it.  Balik tayo sa celebration.  Panahon na ng 18 messages.  Nagfeeling boyscout na naman ako.  Baka kasi may hindi dumating mula sa 18 messages at ako ang gawin alternate.  Eto na naman ako na nag-iisip ng profound na mensahe.  At habang nag-iisip ay binigyang panahong pakinggan ang mensahe ng 18 messages na mostly ay mula sa kanyang kaibigan.  At kumapara sa iniisip kong sabihin sa mga naririnig ko, nasabi ko na wala namang gaanong sense ang mga sinasabi ng 18 messages.  Ilan sa kanila ang nagsabi na malayo ang venue, maganda ang debutant.  Kung maririnig mo ang nasa isip ko mula sa mga messages na naririnig ko.  Ang sabi nito ay "ANO RAW?" Wala kasi akong makuha sa mga sinasabi kundi ang nakikita ko madalas ay yung hagikgikan na common sa mga kabataan, at padyakan out of the excitement they felt for the debutant.  In short, KADALASAN AY WALANG SENSE ang aking mga narinig, ang iba naman, ay cliche na.  Yun ang sa tingin ko.  Pero as the celebration went on I realized na yung walang sense sa akin ay hindi ibig sabihin na walang sense sa iba.  Moreover, I realized na sa buhay, hindi naman kailangan laging may sense o may kwenta.  At ang pinakahigit kong natutunan ay, ang mga pinakamalalim na mensahe sa buhay ay hindi kayang ipaliwanag ng mga salita.  ANG LALIM BA? Hahahahaha! In other words, WORDS ARE JUST WORDS and there are things that are MORE THAN WORDS.  May may sinasabi ang mga hagikgikan, hampasan at samahan ng mga magkakaibigan higit sa sinasabi ng mga salita.

Kung minsan, ang mga may kwenta ay nagmumula rin sa mga walang kwenta.  

Natapos ang 18 messages.  Hindi ako nahilingang magsalita.  Dumating na sa kainan, kanya-kanyang prayer ang nangyari.  Kumain ako at nakipagkwentuhan.  Naghintay at nakinig sa mga mensaheng aking matitikman sa mga pagkakataong hindi pinagplanuhan.  Nang gabing iyon, wala talagang mensahe na narinig mula sa akin.  Ako pala ang makatatanggap ng isang napakahalagang mensahe.  

Nagpaalam ako matapos kumain dahil malayo pa ang aking uuwian at may naghihintay pa sa aking gawain. Pero hindi man ako nahilingang magsalita, hindi naman pumayag ang aking classmate na hindi ko siya pagbigyan na ... magpapicture:)

My classmate, friend and the debutant's mother, Haidee

Me, besides the debutant, Ara

Ika nga, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Ati isang libong beses nang sinasabi ng picture na ito na ang taba-taba ko na talaga.  Hahahahaha!

Sunday evening came at nasa debut na naman ako.  This time, one month prior to the debut ay hinilingan ako ng mother of the debutant na magbigay ng 5 minute message.  That was short  and that was tough.  Ano ang importante na dapat kong sabihin sa loob lamang ng limang minuto.  

Na on-the spot ako na maglead ng opening prayer.  Narinig ko na naman ang mga 18 messages na kagaya nang naunang debut na dinaluhan ko at perhaps sa mga dadaluhan ko pa, wala namang ganoong sense ang mga sinabi sa mga mensahe.  Nandoon pa rin ang hagikgikan, padyakan at bukingan sa pagitan ng debutant at ng kanyang mga friends.

Pero, gaya nga nang natutunan ko sa naunang debut, natuwa na ako sa limang minuto na panahon para magsalita  ako.  Hindi na ako nag-isip ng mga malalalim ng mga isipan para sabihin sa mga tao.  Tinuro ko lang ang debutant sa mga tao na dumalo at sinabi na sila ang mensahe sa pagdiriwang na ito.  Sila na kahit hindi magsalita ay may mas malalim na mensahe.  Mensaheng nagsasabi na hindi siya nag-iisa o mag-iisa sa buhay.  Na may mga tao hindi man magsalita ay ipakikita naman ang kanilang malasakit sa kanilang gawa.

At kami ang ilan sa mga taong iyon.

So, paano? Ang dami ko nang sinabi sa entry na ito.  Gusto ko lang iparating sa inyo ang mensaheng, narito pa rin ako at narito lang ako kahit walang naririnig sa bibig ko:)