ROYAL TRUE ORANGE

I am changing as I live.  One day, I will make a post of the things that are changing in me.  But there are things that will not change. We call it natural.  And there are two recent instances wherein I realized again my true nature.

Inside the dorm, busy with finishing our dissertation and having random talk with my classmate, he told me that he feels that I am next in line in the leadership position.  I feel humbled about his opinion of me.  The only problem with me according to him is that I don't play politics.  I never thought that he knows me that well or he is observing me.  He is right, I am not really a political person.  If there be a recognition, I want it to be based on my  true worth and not because I have connections with prominent people.  In fact, I observe that I avoid people in power.  I mean, as much as possible, I just want to have a professional dealing with them.  You won't see me fighting over a position.  Ika nga ng namayapang action star na si Rudy Fernandez sa isa sa kanyag mga pelikula, "Walang personalan, trabaho lang."

In this world where politics is everywhere, even in the church, should I be proud that according to some, I remain as I am through the years, a non-political person? 

The following day, we were having our lunch in the food court when my batchmate in  Union Theological Seminary who was at the other table called my attention.  He is a Christian Education Teacher in Wesleyan University of the Philippines. I waved my hand back to him.

Nang matapos silang kumain, pumunta siya sa table ko at nagkaroon ng konting kumustahan.  He was aware that I was taking up my Doctoral studies and is now finishing my dissertation.

When he bade goodbye, he addressed me as "Doc."  I waved my hand downward to dissuade him from calling me as such.    My gesture prompted him to say, "Kilala naman kita noon pa, hindi ka sabik sa mga titulo.  Mababang loob ka talaga.  Di tulad ng iba akala mo kung sino, taas noo (he stood erect and raise his head to demostrate his point) kaagad dahil Doctor na sila."  

Another day and another person seeing my true nature.  

In this world where titles are so important to people and "can be bought by a price", should I be proud that according to some, I remain to be non-title conscious person?

Well, if you happened to visit to my house, you will not see a single diploma of the school where I graduated.  Some of them were already lost while my college diploma is still in my alma mater.   Only my grandmother takes the time to display some of my certificate of recognition while others are requested by those who gave them to me.  Not that I have against to those people who do display their achievements, it is just not me.  I don't see the need.

I am just happy because when people accused me  of being this and that, there are people who have eyes to see the real me.

I am not an orange soda person pero sa panahong ito, gusto ko siyang inumin at sabihin ang kanyang classic na slogan,

ITO ANG NATURAL, ROYAL TRUE ORANGE :-)

MYPD

I cannot remember anymore the last time I posted an entry to my blog. Up to this moment, I am still stuck on my dissertation.  I am just taking a break now from writing a chapter.  And while resting, let me share about these things that somehow ease away my exhaustion:

My son, Amen Learn, had their classroom recognition today.  Since I am busy these days, I told him I cannot not come to the recognition day anymore.  He decided to go alone but later on changed his mind and didn't go too.

Last Wednesday, I took the time to attend his graduation.  As I saw him going to the stage and receiving his certificate, I got emotional at the same time proud for my son.

Congratulations Amen Learn!  Thank you very much for Making Your Papa Proud!

KUNG PUWEDE LANG SANA

Kung puwede lang sana na mabasa ko ang laman ng iyong isipan,

Kung puwede lang sana na maramdaman ko ang bigat ng iyong pinagdaraanan,

Kung puwede lang sana na akuin ko ang iyong nararanasan,

Buong puso kong gagawin upang lungkot mo ay mabawasan.

Kung puwede lang sana ibalik ang nakaraan para higit kitang maalagaan, madinig at maunawaan,

Kung puwede lang sana bawiin ang mga salitang binitiwan at mga parusang ipinaramdam

Buburahin ko lahat iyon hanggang wala nang bakas na maiwan.

photo taken from the Internet

Kung puwede lang sana ako ang mangarap para sa iyo.

Kung puwede lang sana mapasa sa akin ang karamdaman mo.

Kung puwede lang sana malaman tunay na kaligayahan mo.

Kung puwede lang sana oras-oras nasa tabi mo.

Kung puwede lang sana habang panahon kayakap mo.

Matiyaga akong magbabantay para sa kapakanan mo.

Pero hindi lahat ay  puwede kong gawin, gaano naman ang pagnanais, sadyang imposible man din.

Kaya, puwede ba, sa mga bagay na hindi ko puwedeng gawin, tulungan mo ako na lumaban para sa iyo?

JUMBO HATE-DOG

May cooking lesson sila Amen Learn sa school.  Gagawa raw ang grupo nila ng footlong sandwich.  Aware na ako na may mga cooking lessons sa mga schools ngayon.

Nagtoka-toka raw silang mga magkakagrupo.  May magdadala ng mayonnaise, bread at footlong.  Kay Amen Learn, itinoka.  Take note ha? Itinoka ang pagdadala ng footlong.  Nang malaman ko na sa kanya in-assign yun, medyo nag-iba na ang pakiramdam ko.  At lalong nag-iba ang pakiramdam ko nang nasa frozen meat section na kami ng grocery, ay kumukuha siya ng 2 kilos ng footlong.  Yes, two kilos ng footlong. At Samsung Galaxy note ha? Purefoods pa ang specified na brand.  Siyempre, biglang nag highblood ang bulsa ko.  Parang gustong maghurumentado.

What? Two kilos of Purefood Footlong hotdog? "Ilan ba papakainin niyo?  Ang sagot niya ay Principal daw at ang Assistant Principal daw, mga teachers ng Grade 6 at Grade 3 at silang magkagrupo.

Naisip  ko kumakandidato ba ako ng senador o tumatakbo ba ako under ng Hotdog Party List? Eh, bakit hindi na yata cooking lesson ito kundi food distributions.  Nag-iba na ng isip si Amen Learn, hindi na footlong, jumbo hotdog na lang daw.  Pero Purefoods at 2 kilos pa rin.  As if, may difference ang kanyang ginawa.

Pero alam ko na huli na para sa highblood ko.  Napagkayarian na o napagtulungan na ang anak ko na bumalikat sa uhaw sa hotdog na paaralan.  Hahahahahahahaha!

Pumunta na kami ng cashier pero tumigil ako sandali at tinignan ko tuloy ang isang pack ng Nescafe Coffee na ibinigay sa akin last Tuesday.  Tinignan ko ang presyo.  Pwede nang panabla sa isa sa dalawang kilong jumbo hotdog na ginastos ko.  Humahanap lang ako ng pampalubag loob. Huhuhuhu!

Kung ano ang haba ng pila sa cashier ay siya ring haba ng sermon ko kay Amen.  At yung ateng nauuna sa amin ay nakisali na sa discussion namin.  Nagkaroon tuloy kami ng forum.  Hahahahahaha! Bakit kasi hindi nila pinaghati-hatian ang gastos na lang?  Sagot niya, yung iba raw kasi walang mai-share.  Pero willing silang magka-grade kahit walang mai-share.  Naisip ko na naman, should I blame my son for being gullible?  Tanggap na lang ng tanggap.  E, paano ko silang masisisi, e namana naman nila sa akin yun?

Para rin yang mga estudyante na kapag oras ng test, lagi na lang hingi ng hingi ng papel sa mga kaklase bukod pa sa sagot.  Hahahahahahaha!

I am not being selfish but I am being considerate.  Sinanay kasi natin ang tao na porke mahirap e wala nang mai-share.

Hindi lang yun ang kalbaryo ko.  Kailangan pa raw prito na kapag dinala sa school ang mga hotdogs.  Kitam, yung iba ang dala e hindi na iluluto habang kami, ay running against time, sa pagpi-prito ng hotdogs.  Feeling ko talaga, kami ng anak ko ang nailuto sa mga oras na yun.

Pagdating ni Amen mula sa school, nagbida na siya.  May isang teacher daw na nagsabi na dapat daw 100 ang grade nila Amen.  Sa loob-loob ko dapat kaya 340 ang grade nila dahil jumbo ang presyo ng jumbo hotdog na kinain nila.  Hahahahahahahaha! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!

BE THERE

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness - Seneca

Photo taken from the internet

Nagdrive siya pauwi ng bahay.  Galing siya ng Thailand para sa isang out of the country na seminar.  He has to appear strong again for his wife and for his family.  The truth is, he would like to succumb to his worries and fears.  He is already tired of playing strong.  But he has no choice, there is his family who draws strength from him.  Without his family, it is easy for him to be himself and to live his life with complete abandon.

Middle of last year since his target sales a month has been declining.  There is no hint when it will be over.  He knew that life is tough for everybody these days but he still can't help to fear for his future and for his family.

These are the things that I heard from my high school friend over the cellphone.  He was calling to me while he was driving.  Obviously, he needs somebody to talk to.  Somebody who would listen to him.

Actually, he is one of the top students in our class.  He already displays a sense of self confidence back then.  And the whole class felt it strong.  He was called, "bagyo."  And he takes no offense on it. He was even proud.  He is the type of person whose presence will make you conscious of yourself.

But tonight he felt weak and uncertain.  His descent fortune could not give him the security that he needs.  The reality that he was still much better than me and  most people could not pacify him.  He knew that he needs to count his blessings.  He only feels weak to begin.

The truth is, I want to befriend him.  But I know that he already knew what I can tell him.  I don't even feel his need of me.  So, every time he asks for a prayer, I just obliged.  I will just wait for a time that he will update me on the answers to his prayer.  Every time he feels his need of me.  There I will be.

He said that his wife is telling him of her worries and fears.  I told him to try doing the same to his wife.  He is not ready yet.  He still believes that he needs to appear as the "knight in shining armor."  I cannot blame him because I can relate to him.  Being known as a kind and tough person, many times, I need to wear my mask too.  

After a few minutes of listening and clarifying his present perspectives, he thanked me that I picked up my phone and engaged a conversation with him.  I just assured him that I am always there for him.

I cannot give him anything.  He doesn't need anything material anyway.  All he needs is to slow down.

I am sharing this right now because I realized that sometime, you don't have to be the wife, the best friend, the counselor, the adviser.  Sometimes, you just have to be there. 

OVERDUE

This post should have been my first.  But my personality is to be blamed for this overdue post.  You see, I hate conventions.  I don't know but people have known me to be a very patient person but as I grow older, I  easily become bored at things.  I always looking for new things.  Thus, I am always frustrated.  Hehehehehe!

I guess, it really shows with what I did in this blog.  No explanation about its title.  I knew it all along but I just dismissed the idea of writing on it, right away. But one evening, my friend and reader of my blog asked about what is my blog for.  I explained it to him then.  And he appreciated it.

Perhaps there are also some of you who think the same way.  Others might guess about the rationale of the title of this blog.  And I am certain that you guessed it right.

So, bakit nga ba KUWARENTA ang title ng blog ko?  Well, for the obvious reason that I am now on my 40's.  The truth is, I thought of blogging when I was forty years old but was able to do it when I was 42.

First, may kasabihan tayo na "Life begins at 40."  Feel ko lang sakyan ang 40,000 years old na kasabihang ito.  I just thought that, I have to change by the time I reach 40 years old.

Second, by change I mean, I have to look for life's meaning or a more meaningful life.  Kaya from the word, KUWARENTA ay kinuha ko ang word na KUWENTA.  May paniniwala na hindi naman takot ang tao na mamatay. Ang takot ng tao ay mamatay nang walang kabuluhan.   At ayaw ko namang mamatay din nang walang kabuluhan kaya I will try to make my life meaningful for God, for myself and for other people.  Para lang pledge of allegiance. Hahahahaha!

Third, the word, KANTA.  Siguro naman alam niya kung saan ko rin ito kinuha.  By the word kanta I mean, fun and celebration.  I believe that life needs to be funfilled.  I want to be passionate about life.  Hindi man ako professional na manganganta, I am proud to say na alam ko kung sintunado na ako o wala sa tiyempo. Hahahahaha!  I am fascinated not just to the melody of a song but more so to its lyrics.  Every song has a story behind.  And the more we love the story, the more we love the song.

Fourth, the equally importat in life, KWARTA o anda! Hahahahaha! We need a means in life to find meaning and to make music.  Money makes things happen and will take us to places.  No, I would not teach you to have much money since I, myself is in need of money most of the times.  I am just saying here that there are ways or means to our dreams and desires.

O di ba, long overdue na talaga ang post na ito?  Ang ikli lang pala kung susulatin.  Dami ko kasing arte,  Hahahahahaha!

ONE YEAR AND COUNTING

This post is not about a joyful or sad experience.

It is not about a person that I like or dislike.

It is not about a movie or a song.

It is not about my travel or my household chores.

This post is simply about a CELEBRATION.

It is exactly one year now since the day I started blogging.

And along with my celebration is my gratitude to all of you my followers and readers.  Thank you for all your comments and encouragement.  You make my blog alive by taking time to read and follow.

I am so busy these days and the coming days but it will give my passion an injustice if I will let this day passed without celebrating the day I reclaimed my gift for writing.

HAPPY FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO YOU, TO ME, TO US AND TO GOD!